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Mike Shannon's Raw Review (Oct. 12, 2009)
Written by Mike Shannon on 10/12/2009
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WWE RAW (October 12, 2009)
by: Mike Shannon (DLman91@hotmail.com)
-LIVE from Indianapolis, IN (home of the 2nd best QB in the league)
-Chris Jericho announces he has been named Smackdown team captain for the 7 vs. 7 tag match at Bragging Rights, but gets interrupted by guest host Nancy O'Dell, from Access Hollywood, some show I have never watched.
Oh yeah, they hired her for her journalistic talents
-HHH kicks us off in the arena but Shawn Michaels isn't here. This bothers Hunter so he calls HBK at home, who has recorded his own voice mail message to his theme song. HBK finally answers and plugs the new DX book before hanging up and HHH gets interrupted by Jerishow. They argue about the superiority of Raw/Smackdown as Hunter makes gay jokes and successfully turns the heels against one another. HHH plays mind games and makes Big Show want to join Team Raw, but first he has to beat Chris Jericho...RIGHT NOW!
Bragging Rights Qualifier
Big Show vs. Chris Jericho
Stall to start before Jericho stupidly tries a suplex and gets put down. Jericho tries a chop which is no sold and Show gives him a BIG chop and brings him back in the ring. Show tries to make nice but Jericho pisses him off and gets slugged to the floor, where Jericho injures his knee. Big Show tends to his partner but OF COURSE Jericho is faking and tries to sprint into the ring, but Show catches him and beats the count back in.
Winner by Count Out: Big Show
-So Show is on Team Raw, which doesn't do much for me. *
-Backstage, Maria Menounos interviews Legacy and announces that tonight it will be DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena and if Cena wins then neither will be on Raw.
JOURNALISTIC TALENT RUNNIN' WILD BROTHER~!
Divas Title
Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall
Mickie screws up a cartwheel spot but still hits a dropkick for two. She blocks a facebuster for another two and tries something in the corner, but Jillian hits an ugly looking powerbomb and gets the pin using the ropes.
Winner and NEW Champion: Jillian Hall
-The match was a minute long and basically had two blown spots. That earns a -** and now I have have to listen to words come out of Jillian's bee stung face.
-Nancy O'Dell comes out to announce she has made a Diva trade and Jillian must defend against the new acquisition right now...
Divas Title
Jillian Hall vs. Melina
She just left in April, that's a whole 6 months ago...wow. They IMMEDIATELY f*** up a spot and Melina quickly ends it. Holy God was that blown spot bad.
Winner and NEW Champion: Melina
-Same rating -**....so basically they wanted Melina having the Terrible Worker Title but didn't want her beating Mickie so we get this crap.
No sir, I don't like it
-Snoop Dogg is the guest host tomorrow night...I bet Brian Kendrick still wishes he was around for that.
-Backstage, HHH (who is apparently running the show) talks to Shawn before being interrupted by Hornswoggle dressed with HBK. That was kinda funny but incredibly stupid.
-Still backstage, Santino meets our Access Hollywood girls and tries out for the show, but Beth Phoenix barges in to complain about her trade to Smackdown. Maria makes the mistake of badmouthing Beth and gets slammed against the wall and then talked into a match by Santino. By the way Beth, Santino faked every orgasm. That's WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much information.
Bragging Rights Qualifier
Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena
If either member of Legacy win, they are on team Raw BUT if Cena wins then neither are in. Ted is sporting the nice shiner here. Cena attacks but eventually gets double teamed as you would expect. Cena gets a comeback spot but gets put down and covered by two for Rhodes, establishing the distrust of Legacy. Double suplex leads to a bulldog from Rhodes and a hard kick from Teddy. More double teaming bores me as I wait for the inevitable conflict between the heels. Another hope spot goes nowhere as Ted gets two off a clothesline but WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK~!
And you wonder why I'm a hockey and football fan?
We're back with Cody breaking up a DiBiase pin. Cena fights back and dumps Cody but DiBiase hits a dropkick for two. Charge to the corner causes Ted to hit the post and fall to the outside, so Cody hits a swinging neckbreaker for two before hitting a kneedrop for another near fall. Cena comes back with a suplex for two, broken by Ted. Another double suplex is countered by Cena and he cleans house on the heels before locking the STF on DiBiase. Orton runs in and distracts Cena, so Rhodes rolls up DiBiase for the win.
Winner: Cody Rhodes
-Creative finish but I was not into this match at all. ** Nancy O'Dell pops up again to book Legacy vs. Randy Orton and John Cena.
-I would mention that the Indiana Pacers are here, but that would mean I would have to type the name "Tyler Hansbrough" and he makes me physically ill. Enjoy the bench...joke.
Bragging Rights Qualifier
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
I've officially given up on MVP becoming anything more than a midcard staple. MVP controls with some stuff and hits a flying clothesline before a cheapshot turns the tide and Swagger sends him into the post. Lawler busts out his "how many times has he been convicted" joke for the 248274th time while Swagger works the arm. MVP comes back with his judo throw and his Ballin' Elbow gets a VERY anemic pop but still gets two. He injures his elbow on the move however, so Swagger punishes it and hits the gutwrench for the win.
Winner: Jack Swagger
-So far we have HHH, HBK, Big Show, Cody, and Jack Swagger. Match was just kinda there *1/2.
-Backstage, Legacy argues but Orton keeps the peace by asking them to destroy Cena.
Bragging Rights Qualifier
Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne
Match is joined in progress because GOD KNOWS we had to have 2 Divas matches tonight. Kofi works a headlock but Bourne reverses and they exchange two counts before Kofi gets caught with a BIG spinning heel kick for two. Bourne works the half crab but Kofi fights out and hits a flapjack into uppercut in a SWEET spot. Kofi charges and gets hung up on the top rope so Bourne gets two but Kofi comes back with the SOS for a near fall. Bourne hits some stiff shots but has to abandon the Shooting Star Press. He tries something off the second rope instead but gets caught with Trouble in Paradise for the win.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
-Criminally short match as I think these guys could easily hit **** given the correct amount of time. As is, this was ***.
-Backstage, HHH plugs the book again while Maria prepares for her match. Chavo complains about whatever and gets kicked by Maria. I don't care so....
Awwwww, too bad.
Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria Menounos vs. Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, and Rosa Mendes
Kelly Kelly is unbelievably smoking hot....That is where her talent ends. Gail gets a quick rollup on Alicia before tagging in Maria, who does some basic stuff and gets a sloppy rollup for two. Beth checks in so Maria tags out like a coward to Kelly Kelly, who gets punished with a backbreaker and gets trapped in the heel corner. Rosa tries her luck but takes a handspring elbow in corner. A Maria distraction allows Kelly to hit a legdrop to the back of Rosa's head and get the win.
Winners: Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria Menounos
-So basically the guest host ran away from her challenger then cheated to win. 1/2* for another Divas match.
This, on the other hand, gets *****.
-The Miz is out to announce he will be facing the IC Champ John Morrison at Bragging Rights. Way to build to this feud guys. COME ON, they were an upper midcard tag team for a fairly long period of time and they just book this without ANY buildup whatsoever??? This promotion just constantly amazes me and NOT in a good way.
Randy Orton and John Cena vs. Legacy
Orton announces that Cena's opponent for next week will be revealed after this main event. SMELL THE TENSION~! Cena works a headlock but gets trapped in the Legacy corner and beaten down. Dropkick gets two for DiBiase and he follows that with a powerslam for two. Cody tags in and works a sleeper but Cena eventually suplexes out. Orton isn't paying attention so Cena tags him in and Cody rolls him up for two. DiBiase tags in and rolls up Orton twice for two so Randy runs over and tags Cena back in. Cena hits DiBiase with his usual stuff but Orton makes a blind tag behind his back and beats down Cena in the corner. So, like a smart guy, DiBiase sneaks up behind Orton and rolls him up for the win.
Winners: Legacy
-I don't get this booking at all, but I'll explain in the next section. This gets **1/4. Cena's opponent next week will be HHH.
-OK, so why would the heels wrestle each other at all? Think about this: If the Four Horsemen were booked into this situation by a babyface authority figure (say Flair/Tully vs. Arn/Windham) would they even CONSIDER laying a hand on each other? Of course not. They would lure the babyface who placed them in the situation to the ring and then beat the holy hell out of him. Under no circumstances would they ever hit one another, ESPECIALLY not Flair (aka Orton, World champion).
If you're trying to build to a breakup angle then fine, but that makes no sense because you've built the ENTIRE show around them for months and NO ONE is going to buy DiBiase or Cody as a babyface at this point in the booking. They have not shown enough attitude in the ring nor have the fans picked one of them out as the "chosen one". It's just one big confusing mess right now.
Final Word
I should have watched the Penguins game....
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