Impact Wrestling Results – August 9, 2018
Welcome to Impact Wrestling on Pop TV.
A brawl backstage between LAX and the OGz is already underway, and they are going to TOWN on each other. They use everything they can get their hands on to use as weapons, including coat hangers, doors, chairs, the whole nine yards. Homicide chairdogs Ortiz into a wall, then Hernandez threatens to throw Santana over the stairs, and when security intervenes, they get laid out and Hernandez gives one of them the Border Toss into a wall. Well, looks like they made their point! We hit the opening video and then go to the ring where Gama Singh introduces his tag team…
The Desi Arnaz Hit Squad vs Taiji Ishimori & Petey Williams
Ishimori and Williams get the early advantage, easily outmaneuvering the Babalu Boys until a cheapshot from the outside by Raju, and Singh gets a leaping flatliner for 2. Pretty formulaic from here on out: Petey is in peril for a bit, they throw us a bit of a curveball by putting Ishimori in peril for a bit after the hot tag, but he comes back, Petey hits the Destroyer, and Ishimori hits a DDT/lungblower combo for the win.
Winners: Taiji Ishimori & Petey Williams
Solid enough opener.
Pentagon Jr cuts one of his weird video promos on Matt Sydal to tell him that he’s taking him to his universe tonight, where the only thing that exists is pain. Sydal has three eyes, but Pentagon has two words: Zero Fear!
Allie and Kiera Hogan are backstage challenging Su Yung to a match next week, and Allie doesn’t care if it’s non-title as long as she brings her undead ass. Kiera says to bring all her bridesmaids, and even if Tessa Blanchard wants to get involved, she can come too.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we get a video package showing us the events that led into tonight’s World Title match, then Alicia is backstage with Austin Aries, who says he’s known Eddie Edwards for 10 years, and something has happened to him. He’s unpredictable, he’s dangerous, and that has him worried…but just a little, because he is the World Champion for a reason, and no matter how dangerous this match ends up being, he guarantees he’ll come out on top.
Grado is backstage with Joe Hendry and Katarina trying to wrap their heads around their loss from last week, and Joe reminds Grado of how the kids used to pick on him for being fat when he was a kid, and he’ll do it again next week.
Alisha Edwards vs Tessa Blanchard
Tessa works Alisha over to start and easily press slams her, puts the boots to her in the corner, and hits a series of short clotheslines. Alisha gets a crucifix for 2, but then Tessa takes her head off with a superkick. Tessa maintains her advantage for a while, but Alisha avoids the diving forearm and Tessa crashes into the ropes. Alisha with a snap flatliner, but is too worn out to make a cover. Alisha mounts a fiery babyface comeback, and hits a twisting DDT for 2. Alisha goes for a slingshot something, but Tessa counters to a spinebuster and then finishes with the hammerlock DDT.
Winner: Tessa Blanchard
Nice to see Tessa finally getting some momentum behind her. Tessa gets a mic after the match and calls Allie out, telling her that she may have everyone else fooled, but not her, because she knows what Allie’s intentions are, and the only thing she cares about is helping herself and the Knockouts Title. Next week, if she’s going after Su Yung and the Knockouts Title, then she’s coming after her too.
Scarlett Bordeaux is backstage primping and getting Bobo to carry all her stuff for her.
Alicia is backstage with Matt Sydal, and he says it was never about the X Division belt, it’s about what it represents, and matches like the one tonight with Pentagon Jr is what he lives for. He’s glad the world will be watching, because now he can open everyone’s third eyes.
The Global Wrestling Network takes us back to sometime years ago when Chris Sabin beat Petey Williams, then got laid out by Kevin Nash.
KM and Fallah Bahh are having a strategy session backstage when Scarlett Bordeaux walks by and tantalizes them on her way past.
Impact “management” kicks some nobody out of their office because they don’t have an open door policy, but happily welcome Scarlett Bordeaux in to complain about the other girls being SOOOO mean to her. They hastily offer her security, her own show…hell, even her own island! She suggests a smoke show, and of course they don’t hesitate, and she thanks them by offering to take care of them if there’s ever ANYTHING they need.
Matt Sydal vs Pentagon Jr
They start offtalking smack to each other, then a feeling out process ends with Pentagon flapjacking Sydal and kicking him in the ribs. Pentagon gets a sunset flip for 2, but then Sydal goes to the knee and ties Pentagon up on the mat. Sydal goes to the floor to catch a break as Pentagon mounts a comeback, then gets the jump on Pentagon when he comes out after him and introduces his knee to the barricade. Pentagon mounts a comeback, but Sydal hits Meteora off the apron as we go to commercial.
We come back as Pentagon hits a superkick to Sydal, but Sydal immediately regains control with a leg lariat for 2. Pentagon hits a corner lungblower for 2, then argues with the 7th grader who is interning as a referee over the count. Pentagon goes for the arm break, but Sydal rollsthrough and unloads some kicks to Pentagon’s knee and a pendulum swing for 2. They trade hard shots, Pentagon hits a superkick and then connects with the Pentagon Driver (which is the same as Sydal’s Here It Is Driver), but only gets 2. Sydal comes off the top with Shadows Over Hell for 2, but a shooting star press lands on Pentagon’s knees, and Pentagon small packages Sydal for 2. Pentagon goes for the package piledriver and hits it for 3.
Winner: Pentagon Jr
Great match! Very competitive closing few minutes. oVe pops up on the screen on the oVe cam and Sami says that he’s tired of being laughed at, so one of them is shaving their heads right now. They argue over it, and Jake decides to take one for the team, and Sami tells Dave that he’s going to get his head shaved. Sami tells Jake to shave his brother’s head, and Jake isn’t happy, but he does it as Sami says now they’re starting to look more like a family.
Konnan comes out with LAX, and they’re serious like a late period, and like scarecrows: outstanding in their field. The OGz decided to jump them earlier tonight, and he calls them out to finish it. Kingston and the OGz are up in the balcony and King says nobody tells the OGz what to do. Konnan calls him a walking talking glory hole, which starts a fun chant by the crowd. They have their titles, and LAX won the battle, but not the war. Konnan asks Kingston what he wants, and Kingston says to bring it to the concrete jungle if he still knows how to do that and isn’t afraid. Konnan says there’s only one group that runs the streets and it’s LAX. Kingston says the OGz ARE the streets and don’t forget that, and Konnan says not to forget that you can stop a revolutionary, but not a revolution. 5150!
Josh and Don talk about stuff and run down next week’s card, then we go backstage where crazy Eddie Edwards is laughing with his kendo stick and yelling to Austin Aries that it’s time to play.
We see a video package of Jimmy Jacobs discussing the history between Kongo Kong and Johnny Impact, and then it’s main event time!
World Title Match: Austn Aries vs Eddie Edwards
The first time I saw Eddie Edwards wrestle was at an ROH show in Connecticut in 2006. He had Whoopi Goldberg dreadlocks at the time, was still years away from teaming with Davey Richards in the American Waolves, and his opponent that night was a man named Austin Aries, who was a no-nonsense, straight ahead competitor with no time for hijinx. Quite a lot has changed about both men in the years since, no? They circle each other and make no serious contact before going to commercial.
Aries is running from Eddie around ringside as we come back from commercial, and Eddie eventually catches up and unloads with hard chops. Eddie continues the assault, but Aries winds up back in the ring and hits a heat seeking missile dive to the outside to take control. Eddie briefly turns the tide with a blue thunder bomb, but Aries comes back and gets the Last Chancery. Eddie bites Aries’ finger to get out, and Aries is mad enough that he goes and gets his title belt from ringside. He tries to low blow Eddie when the ref takes the belt, but Eddie blocks and kicks Aries in the ding ding, then small packages him for 2. Aries blocks the backpack driver, they trade strikes, the ref gets bumped, and Aries lays Eddie out with a forearm. Aries goes to the floor and gets the belt again, waits for Eddie to get up, but Eddie ducks the belt shot and hits a single arm DDT and makes a cover, but the ref is still out. Eddie gets a kendo stick and drills the ref with it, then he goes after Aries but Killer Kross comes out, grabs Eddie, and dumps him on his head with a Saito suplex. Kross goes to the floor as Aries hits a brainbuster, and the ref stirs and makes a 3 count.
Winner: Austin Aries
Kross comes back in the ring and Aries winks at him as he puts his calling card on Eddie and kicks him to the floor. They do a pesudo Diesel-Shawn pose as we call it a week.