We open IMPACT this week. And Eric Bischoff has just been served… Legally.
Suddenly we move to somewhere else backstage and ODB and Velvet Sky are going at it. Velvet has no shoes or pants on, just panties and a shirt. ODB is not just assaulting Velvet physically, but verbally as well, as only ODB can do. They continue to go at it, but for the most part it’s ODB in control. They move this fight into the (much better looking in my opinion) IMPACT Zone. ODB picks up Velvet and rams her into the stands. Security comes out to try and stop her but she low blows them. Velvet takes this opportunity to take a few shots but ODB comes back and throws her over the guard rail and smacks her ass. Velvet continues trying to fight back but ODB is just too powerful. They finally are in the ring and ODB rips off Velvet’s shirt. The crowd definitely enjoys Velvet being stipped down to her bra and panties, but that’s the least of Velvet’s worries because ODB is choking her out. ODB pins her down and counts to three on her own, and then leaves. Miss Tessmacher makes her way down to the ring to check on Velvet.
Tenay and Taz tell us that tonight, Tessmacher will be in action against Angelina Love and/or Winter. As they try to tell us what else they have lined up, Sting’s music cues. But we get Mr. Anderson instead, adorned in vintage Sting facepaint. He says he will be bringing back a famous competitor from Sting’s past, then takes his leave.
Backstage, Brian Kendrick thanks Bischoff for the opportunity last week, but says he has to redeem himself and asks for another shot at Abyss with the X Division title on the line. Bischoff comes up with another idea… Kendrick can face the Kazarian, who has a rematch clause for the title. Kendrick agrees and thanks Bischoff.
We’re back and Bischoff is on the phone with the Hulkster himself, telling him about how he’s been served legal papers. He’s in the ring now and Bischoff calls Beer Money down to the rings. Bobby Roode is in a sling from the beating he took from Immortal. Bischoff says that they are supposed to have 30 days to defend the titles (I’ve always hated that rule because it’s only ever enforced when it’s useful), and since he hasn’t heard a word from Roode’s doctors, and tells them to save themselves the humiliation and just hand over the titles now. Roode says over his dead body. He WILL defend them at Slammiversary, whether he’s injured or not. And now I get a pleasant surprise by hearing the Machine Guns theme. Shelley makes his way down to the ring, and breaks the news that Sabin has torn his ACL and MCL, to those who don’t already know. Sabin will be out until 2012, and Shelley tells everyone how he has come to greatly respect Beer Money, and asks if just one time, if he can defend the honor of the tag team titles along side James Storm to create… GUN MONEY! He shakes hands with Roode and Storm who accept, and Bischoff, already in a bad mood, tells Shelley that he just made his s*** list.
Matt Hardy vs Crimson
We’re back and we’re finally about to get the first match underway. Enter “Cold Blooded” Matt Hardy, to not much of a reaction. Crimson is out next, and he gets some fair pop from the crowd. Crimson’s undefeated streak is the hot topic right now between Tenay and Taz, and then the bell rings. The match kicks off with a lock up between the two, but Crimson quickly takes control and clotheslines Hardy. Hardy tries to come back but tags a hard shoulder from Crimson. Crimson whips Matt into one turnbuckle, lands a few shoulders to the abdomen, and then whips him full force into the other. Matt gets out of the ring for a breather, but when Crimson reaches over the rope to grab a hold of Matt, Hardy hangs him over the ropes and quickly gets back in and takes him down with a spinning neckbreaker. Hardy gets up to the middle rope and comes down hard on Crimson, and continues the punishment with a side headlock and then another spinning neckbreaker. Hardy goes up top for a leg drop, but Crimson tries to stop him. Crimson loses the battle and falls from the ropes, allowing Matt to hit a leg drop for a count of two. Hardy still on the offensive, whips Crimson into the ropes. Crimson comes back with some hard shoulders, and then a double arm DDT for a very close 2 count. Crimson gets back up and looks for a suplex, but Hardy puts a stop to it. Hardy fights back and hits a modified neckbreaker, then looks for the Twist of Hate. Crimson turns out of it and pushes Matt back, and when Hardy runs back towards him, he hits him with the Sky High powerbomb.
After the match, Samoa Joe storms the ring but gets a spear and is quickly taken care of by Crimson.
Later on tonight, we’ll see Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner vs Kurt Angle & Matt Morgan.
We’re backstage now, and Mr. Anderson is lurking around backstage. He finds Eric Young, who is talking about his “epic battle” last week with Gunner. Anderson says a real epic battle was Sting vs The Great Muta in 1999. EY says how great Muta was, and Anderson invites EY to take part in a little something tonight. Young initially refuses because he doesn’t want to disrespect either man, but Anderson assures him it will be very respectful, and finally gets Eric to agree.
Backstage now, Winter is talking to Angelina love about how she was attacked last week, and how she’s upset about it, and then tells Angelina that Tessmacher needs to be taken care of before Mickie. Angelina speaks for the first time in weeks, albeit in some cryptic strange talk. She spoke of forcing everyone else out so she and Winter could finally be together without anyone trying to stop them.
We move on to the Immortal locker room. Bischoff is basically telling the guys that Immortal is done and he has to leave. Everyone seems kind of upset and confused as to what they should do, but Bischoff says he can’t help them.
Miss Tessmacher vs Angelina Love w/ Winter
Let me just say that this storyline between Love in Winter is probably the best thing to happen to women’s wrestling since Awesome Kong vs Gail Kim. On Angelina’s way down to the ring, Winter gets closer then usual to Love. The bell rings and Tessmacher rolls up Angelina who kicks out quickly. Tessmacher gets back up and tries several times to execute a headlock takedown but Angelina is having none of it. Tessmacher tries a straight up punch and Love still stands firmly. Love takes her outside the ring and knocks her around for a while before getting back inside the ring. Winter forces Tessmacher back in and Love remains on the emotionless offensive. However, Tessmacher comes back with a flurry of offense, and eventually ends up on Angelina’s shoulders, possibly looking for the victory roll she utilized last time. Angelina doesn’t let the happen and drops her with an electric chair drop, and follows up with a cool looking backbreaker for the win. Angelina pins Tessmacher in what Taz calls “the hottest cover he’s ever seen in his life” for the win.
Winner: Angelina Love
After the match, Love chokes Tessmacher before finally being called off by Winter.
And we’re back. Anderson is on his way to the ring, yet again with Sting’s music, and some humorous mocking of him as he continues his entrance. He whispers something to Christy Hemme. Hemme then announces “And his opponent, from the Orient… The ‘Not So’ Great Muta”. And heeere’s Eric, doing a spot on impression of him.
“Sting” vs “The Not So Great Muta”
The match begins and Anderson (intentionally) misses a pathetic Stinger Splash on EY, feigning injury from the turnbuckle. EY doesn’t seem to want to take any part in this, but Anderson forces him to and takes the offensive. Anderson chop blocks him and then throws him into the corner, then goes for the Stinger Splash for real, but still misses. Eric Young comes back with Muta-like chops and the like, before locking him in a crucifix pin for a 2 count. Anderson comes back quickly and knocks him down, but gets caught with a jawbreaker from EY, who soon after goes up top and hits the Muta Moonsault. Gunner comes down to the ring and distracts the referee, which allows Anderson to set him up for the Scorpion Death Drop. However, with the referee still distracted, EY spits the green mist in his face and rolls him up for a MASSIVE upset!
Winner: “The Not So Great Muta”
Immediately following the match, Gunner enters the ring and starts assaulting Young, and Anderson soon joins in. But the REAL Sting comes to the rescue. As Sting enters the ring, Anderson quickly flees but Gunner stands his ground. Not the best idea, and he gets a SDD for his troubles. Sting pursues Anderson but he gets away, as EY and Sting stand tall.
We’re back and my favorite wrestler, Brian Kendrick is on the way to the ring. Out next is Kaz, and this match is about to go underway.
Brian Kendrick vs Kazarian – #1 Contender’s Match
The bell rings and they lock up. Kaz is on the offensive but Kendrick backs out of the ring and rethinks his strategy before they lock up again. Irish whips lead to Kendrick landing 2 arm drags on Kaz and then a kneeling armlock. Kaz fights back and lands an Oklahoma roll for 2, then a few arm drags of his own on Kendrick. Gutwrench suplex by Kazarian, followed up by a scoop slam. Kaz misses one springboard, then the other, then Kendrick throws him over the top rope, and finally Kendrick suicide dives towards Kaz but misses. Back in the ring, Kaz in control, he hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Kendrick kicks out of the pin, and then gets slammed down again. Kaz is getting a little frustrated and begins slapping Kendrick around. Kaz has him in a necktie sleeperhold, but Kendrick finally fights out of it. They trade forearms but Kaz gets the best of it, and then runs at Kendrick but gets a kick to the face. Kendrick hits a missile dropkick and gets a 2 count, but stays on the offensive. Kendrick backflips over Kaz and hits an enziguri, follows up by attempting Sliced Bread, but Kaz counters with a HUGE neckbreaker. Kendrick manages to kick out, and now Kaz is looking to finish with his Fade To Black piledriver. Kendrick fights out of it and knocks Kaz down, and he goes for a big frog splash but Kaz gets his feet up and hits a shining wizard and knocks Kendrick out of the ring. Kendrick gets back in and gets a rollup, but Kaz kicks out and rolls him up, Kendrick rolls him up, Kaz rolls him up, and then Kendrick finally ends up falling out of the ring… And the bell rings?! We get a time limit draw, and the crowd is pissed off, shouting this is awful and let them finish. Hebner gets word from Bischoff to give this match 5 more minutes, and the two are at it again. They trade blows and then hit a forearm to the face of one another, and now are down. And then Abyss comes in and ruins this whole awesome match. He attacks both men, and though they try to fight back, it’s to no avail. Abyss hits Shock Treatment and Kendrick, and then the Black Hole slam on Kaz. The bell never rang for a specific disqualification, and Abyss quotes the Art of War, and says the war is over, and the X Division is dead.
Winner: No Contest
Up next is AJ Styles and Bully Ray in a confrontation.
AJ Styles on his way to the ring now, to some pretty good pop. We take a look back on this feud that they have had, from AJ getting powerbombed off the stage, to him returning in the steel cage match. AJ says he heard Ray was going to call him out… Well nobody calls AJ out in his own house. Bully Ray’s music plays and he states that AJ and Daniels have been walking around like they beat him in a street fight; well they didn’t. They beat dreamer, who is a HORRIBLE tag team partner (Taz confirms this, jokingly). Bully Ray calls the fans inbred rednecks, and then calls AJ a punk. He says AJ fears him. And he knows it’s true, because he puts the fear of God in everybody. And if God was a bully, he would be him, Bully Ray. AJ says Ray is insecure about his penis size (Lmfao…), and Bully Ray insists that there is nothing wrong with his penis size. AJ says just because Bully Ray is the bigger guy, does not mean he’s the bigger man. AJ says he’s a bigger man, and that every bully is the same as a balloon, you pop them once, and they go away forever. AJ challenges Bully Ray to a last man standing match at Slammiversary. Bully Ray asks if he is out of his mind, asking for a match like that with him. Does AJ know what he’s getting himself into? AJ quickly retorts by asking “Do you have any idea what you have gotten YOURSELF into?”.
And now it’s time for the MAAAAAAAAAAIN EVEEEEEEEEEENT!
Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner vs Kurt Angle & Matt Morgan
Jarrett and Steiner enter to some good heat, and Angle and Morgan out to a great crowd reaction. Jarrett sets up a chair for Karen to sit down, but Hebner is telling Karen to leave. He has a couple referees escort her out, and now the bell rings and the match can get underway. Steiner and Angle start off, then then they tag in and out trying to figure out who should start before we end up with Steiner and Angle again. Belly to belly by Angle onto Steiner before he tags out to Jarrett anyway. Angle takes control and knocks him down, and looks for the Ankle Lock early, but Jarrett knocks him back and Morgan gets tagged in. Morgan slams Jarrett into the turnbuckle, and Steiner wants no part of Morgan and will not get tagged in. Morgan drags Jarrett over to Angle, hits a german suplex on Jarrett, and then Steiner is tagged in. Steiner and Angle trade some mat based work, and we see on the double feature that Hogan has entered the building. Back to the action, Angle locks Jarrett into the Ankle Lock but Jarrett fights out of it and both men knock each other down. Angle tags out to Morgan, who takes on both Jarrett and Steiner at the same time. Morgan and taking control, and drives Steiner down for a pin, but Jarrett breaks it up. Angle chases Jarrett up the ramp, locks him in the Ankle Lock again. Karen jumps on Angle, and then Kurt shakes here off and corners Karen over behind the stage. Jarrett doesn’t see that, and hits Kurt from behind. Apparently, Karen got knocked down the stairs and is hurt, and Jarrett is down there with her checking to see if she’s OK. Kurt tells Jarrett that it’s Jeff’s fault and that it was an accident on Kurt’s part. Meanwhile, Morgan was looking up at the stage yelling for Kurt to come back. Steiner hits the Steiner Flatliner and pins Morgan for the win.
Winners: Scott Steiner & Jeff Jarrett
We’re back now, and Karen is being taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
And now it’s time for Hogan and Bischoff. They are in the ring now, and Bischoff says if this is the last time himself and Hogan were going to be on IMPACT, then by god people are going to hear what he has to say. He verbally attacks Foley, saying he was good at nothing but talking. He sucked in the ring, and he built a career around chasing people with a stupid sock. He hands the mic off to Hogan. Hogan yells at Bischoff, and says that paper puts no fear into him at all, and it should have put no fear in Bischoff either. Hogan skims through the letter, and says “Effective immediately, upon receiving this notification, we have exercised option to terminate said position… of Mick Foley!” MICK FOLEY IS FIRED?! Bischoff yells that this is the happiest moment of his life, and that’s the show for tonight.
(Report by: Kyle Policastro of WrestlingNewsWorld.com)