Impact Wrestling Results – November 15, 2018

Impact Wrestling Results – November 15, 2018
Welcome to Impact Wrestling on Pop TV.

We start off with our customary look back at last week’s show, then we head to Las Vegas for our opening match…

Knockouts Champion Tessa Blanchard vs Raylynn

Tessa is dominant in this match, overpowering her opponent and hitting a press slam before connecting with a dropkick to the back. Raylynn with a flurry of kicks and a flying headscissors, but Tessa holds the ropes to block an Ace Crusher. Tessa throws Raylynn off on a second flying headscissors attempt, powerbombs her into the corner, and hits the hammerlock DDT for the win.

Winner: Tessa Blanchard

Pretty much a straight squash for Tessa. Tessa gets a mic and says Taya has called her every name in the book, but has also come up with every excuse in the book for failing to beat her, but Tessa wants to call it like it is: Taya isn’t the champion because she is, and she’s a better champion than Taya could ever be. She wants to know how Taya feels to know she’ll never be anything but Johnny Impact’s wife. Taya runs out as fast as her giant heels will carry her and chases Tessa off. Taya informs Tessa that she spoke to Impact management, and they said they’re going to face off one more time on January 6th in Nashville at the Homecoming PPV.

Josh and don talk about stuff, then we go to KM and Fallah Bahh in the casino. KM says Scarlett told them to win big, and he pulled some strings to get a match with LAX, and if they win tonight, they’ll get a title shot, and if they win then, they get gold, and they get Scarlett. Fallah Bahh stares off into space and falls over in love.

We see a vignette of the Rascals, in the form of a stoner sitcom segment, complete with laugh track. They sit backstage in a smoke filled room and find out they have a match next week, and one of them freaks out because his fingernails are black and he forgot he painted them that color.

World Tag Team Champions LAX vs KM & Fallah Bahh

Santana finds himself unable to budge Bahh, and after repeated shoulderblocks, he tries a sunset flip and then a standing moonsault, but still can’t catch Bahh, so he goes for a handshake and catches him with a leaping enziguiri instead. Ortiz tags in, knocks KM off the apron, and they dump Bahh to the floor as well. Ortiz tries a dive, and Bahh ROLLS UP ONTO THE APRON with a high kick I had no idea he was capable of. That was impressive! Bahh does the steamroller on Ortiz, but KM tags in and finds himself on the receiving end of a flurry of offense from Santana, who covers for 2. Bahh tags back in and cleans house on both members of LAX, then plants Santana with a Samoan drop for 2. Bahh goes for a Banzai Drop, but Santana pulls KM into Bahh and knocks him to the floor, then a double knockout kick and a Lionsault legdrop combo finishes KM.

Winners: LAX

Fun match, even if it didn’t feel like a real challenge for LAX.

McKenzie is backstage with Heather Monroe, and she considers herself the epitome of girl power. She knows su Yung lurks around here in tattered clothes, and could use some fashion help. Kiera Hogan comes in and says Monroe has no idea what she’s getting herself into, and talks about what she’s done to all the other Knockouts around here. She warns Monroe to be careful out there for her own sake.

We see a bunch of drunk losers mobbing Scarlett Bordeaux in the parking garage, and he takes one with her for some mysterious purpose.

We head backstage to the mobile LAX clubhouse, where Ortiz shows off all his Home Depot tools, then ask what the story is with the OGz. Konnan says you don’t mess with the bosses, and they won’t see them on the street, and after what Pentagon and Fenix did to them, we’ll never see them here again, either. Santana suggests defending the title against Pentagon and Fenix, but Konnan says not right now. Santana and Ortiz don’t understand why, but don’t question K-Dawg.

The GWN Flashback takes us back to Sami Callihan interfering in LAX vs oVe a year or so ago.

Matt Sydal is backstage talking spiritual stuff to Ethan Page, and he’s excited that he and everyone else gets to watch Matt Sydal beat Johnny Impact tonight. Sydal says he sees through his front of muscles and spray tan, and he’ll make him face his fears and show him the path to enlightement by opening his third eye.

We see the Desi Arnaz Hit Squad lounging by the pool, in full Indian regalia, of course. Raju is excited that next week is Thanksgiving, and Gama slaps him and talks about how much America sucks. He decides that next week, they’re going to ruin Thanksgiving.

Eli Drake comes out and says he put the career of Abyss to sleep and drop the lawsuit, because it was never the point. The point was to lure in Joseph Park to take out Abyss and end something that should have been ended a long time ago. He’s the last of a dying breed, because the business is full of skinny kids and dumpy idiots dressing up and playing wrestler. Abyss gave them the idea that they can just hit someone with a light tube and become a big star. All that gets you is a goose egg and a big doctor’s bill, and he doesn’t have to do all that crap, because his words are more dangerous than any light tube, table, or chair. Tommy Dreamer comes out to the ring, and Drake says an old man coming out here with thumbtacks and kendo sticks proves his point. Dreamer says if Drake puts his finger in his face again, he’ll bite it off. He take a bit of offense to what he said, because it’s skinny jean Millenials like Drake that forget the history of the wrestling business. Hardcore isn’t tables, thumbtacks, and light tubes, it’s a work ethic people did long before he was around because they loved this business. We have a lucha revolution, but someone in the back with a broken hip named Konnan introduced Eddy Guerrero, and if it weren’t for him, Rey Mysterio, and Psicosis, we wouldn’t have Fenix and Pentagon. This isn’t an ECW rant, but skinny jean Millenials like to recreate history, so when everyone chants for tables, that wasn’t around until a scarred-up freak names Sabu reinvented the business, and when you want to talk about hardcore, every wrestler is hardcore, but when you talk about Abyss, with scars on his arms, walking with a limp, the thing he cared about the most was putting the mask back on, and that’s hardcore. The most hardcore out of every single people in this world is the fans, because Drake, being the skinny jean Millenial, doesn’t know what it’s like to work a whole day to scrape enough money to come watch Impact Wrestling like the fans who made him and want to make Eli Drake. Drake slow claps for Dreamer and says that was a rousing speech, and he obviously struck a nerve with him, and Dreamer did the same to him. Dreamer could never touch anything Drake has done or anything he can do on his worst day. Dreamer says he’s sick of talking, he never liked it, so let’s have a fight RIGHT F’N HERE. Dreamer takes his jacket off and…Drake bails to the floor and takes a walk.

Alisha walks in to interrupt Moose’s time with a “little hussy” and says she isn’t here willingly, but Eddie is on his way here and she wants Moose to leave before he gets here because she’s worried about what’ll happen when he gets here. Moose asks if she really thinks he’s worried about Eddie, and since Eddie has priors, he’ll call 911 when he gets here, and they’ll put him away for a long time, so she better get to her husband before he does.

One of the referees is backstage yelling at the other referees because this is an unsafe working environment. Scarlett comes in with her pal from the garage, who is shirtless, wearing a blond pigtail wig, and with Scarlett’s name written all over him. She comes on to all the referees, who of course stammer and hem and haw at her before she wanders off.

Impact World Champion Johnny Impact vs Matt Sydal

Feeling out process to start with neither man getting an advantage. Sydal manages to take Impact down and get a bridging three quarter nelson, then drills him with a diving dropkick in the corner and covers for 2. Impact fires back with a series of punches and a leg lariat, followed by a running kneestrike to the face for 2. Impact hits a sliding German suplex and stares down Page before going back inside and getting rolled up for 2 by Sydal. Impact hits a Tidal Krush and goes for Starship Pain, but Sydal rolls to the floor, so Impact hits a corkscrew dive over the post and onto Ethan Page, but sydal comes from behind and rams him into the barricade. Back into the ring, Sydal hits a knockout kick, goes up for the shooting star press, Impact stops him and tries a Spanish Fly, but Sydal shoves him off and hits Meteora for 2. Impact hits a rolling neckbreaker followed by Starship Pain, and that’s all she wrote.

Winner: Johnny Impact

Good match. Killer Kross comes out and…we go to commercial.

Okay, we’re back, and Kross has a mic. The fans are SOLIDLY behind Kross, who says he knows Impact thinks he came out here to rip his head off his neck, but he can assure Impact that this isn’t the case…he needs to speak to him, and he needs Impact to listen to him. Kross was certain that he was the catalyst for change when he got into this business, but then came Final Hour, and as painful as it was to admit this, Impact beat him fair and square. The fans chant for one more time as Kross has to entertain the notion that perhaps he is not the catalyst for change, but then again, perhaps Impact is. He can tell Imapct right now that if change won’t happen by his hand, he can sure as hell guarantee it happens by his. Impact being champion isn’t necessarily a bad thing because Impact is a role model…unlike himself. Imapct has fighting spirit, he’ll fight anyone, anytime, anywhere, and he can respect that. He’s not protected like a lot of other guys in this business, unlike in other companies where people are, and we can see there’s no HONOR in that. Impact has to know that now that he has that title, he has no friends, and everyone in the locker room wants a piece of him…except for Kross. At Final Hour, Impact made a believer out of him, and when Imapct needs assistance…and he will…call Kross, and he’ll be there. Kross puts his hand out, and Impact reaches out…and takes the mic. He says that a lot of what Kross just said might be true, but he doesn’t trust him or want him anywhere near him, his wife, or his dog. The answer is no. Impact drops the mic and walks off as Kross looks displeased and stares after Impact.

Jordynn Grace is backstage when Katarina walks in and congratulates her on her win against her last week. It got her thinking, a lot of the girls around here don’t like her much, but she knows that Jordynn knows better, and thinks they’d be a great team together. Jordynn has a better idea: they can face off again in two weeks.

Eddie Edwards finally finds his way to the arena and attacks Moose, at which point three guys in hospital scrubs, whom Moose apparently had laying in wait, jump out and grab Eddie. One of them injects him in the neck with something, and they carry him away, presumably to a nut house somewhere.

Su Yung vs Heather Monroe

Su quickly flattens Monroe and gets the dirty sock out. Monroe tries to fight back, hits a cartwheel elbow in the corner, a big kick to the head, and a spinkick to knock Su to the apron. Monroe with a stomp to Su’s back for 2. Su knocks Monroe silly with a palmstrike and hits the Panic Switch. She doesn’t go for the pin, and instead stalks Monroe, gets the mandible claw, and Monroe taps right on out.

Winner: Su Yung

The referee tries to stop Su, who screams at her to chase her off, so Kiera Hogan runs out to attack Su and toss her to the floor. Kiera is also wearing giant heels, and I really think the ladies need to find better run-in footware. Evil Allie comes out of the back in all black with a Rosemary face painted over her jaw. She walks into the ring and faces Kiera Hogan, who doesn’t seem to have any idea what to make of this. While she mulls it over, Su runs in from behind and nails Kiera, then gives her the Panic Switch while Allie stands there and watches. Allie stares down at Kiera, then Su leads her from the ring by the wrist.

And now, it’s…MAIN EVENT TIME!

X Division Title Match: Brian Cage vs Sami Callihan

Cage jumps Callihan at the bell, and proceeds to DECIAMTE him with hard hitting offense before picking him up, curling him a few times, and just ragdolling him over his head like he’s nothing. Callihan hits a Frankensteiner, so Cage responds with one of his own. Cage goes after the Crists on the floor, Callihan tries hitting him with a dive off the apron, but cage catches him in a vertical suplex and dumps him onto the apron as the referee ejects the Crists from ringside. We’re at commercial.

We’re back as Callihan gets a front guillotine choke, Cage shoves him off and goes to the second rope, but Sami catches him in a fireman’s carry and hits an Oklahoma Stampede style death valley driver into the opposite corner and covers for 2. Cage thanks him by turning him inside out with a half nelson slam, Sami rolls to the apron and Cage deadlift superplexes him back in, and covers for another close 2. Cage no-sells a couple of bicycle kicks, so Sami takes his knee out, hits more superkicks to the face, and a short piledriver for 2. Sami goes to an anklelock and grapevines the leg, and Cage somehow manages to reach the ropes. Sami tries a Canadian Destroyer, Cage blocks, so Sami hits a Code Red for 2. Cage pops up and hits a Drill Claw out of nowhere for the win.

Winner: Brian Cage

Pretty good main event. Cage gets a mic after the match, stands over Sami, and says that on January 6th in Nashville, Impact presents Homecoming, and he’s cashing the X Division Title in for Option C!