One Count Kickout – SuperColumn
Remember when you could walk into a McDonalds and order a large fry and they’d ask if you wanted it Supersized? Take your favorite meal, make it even bigger and enjoy it even more. Sure you may end up vomiting it up later but hey, if you love fries as much as I do then you sure do miss the Supersize option. When it comes to television you have a show, it could be great, terrible or run of the mill. However, if you have a Supershow then it has to be better right? Making Monday Night Raw into a Supershow seemed like a great idea. Take all of your favorites, from both brands, smash them together and we could get things we’d never seen before! New rivalries, new confrontations, new matches.
Taking Raw and making it Super could really have been something you didn’t want to miss. Unfortunately, as per usual, WWE has managed to take something which seems like a tremendous idea and transform it into something mediocre. There doesn’t seem to be any company in the world that succeeds as frequently as WWE does at taking something that could be awesome and making it typical. I think they’ve managed to prove that over the past few years. If you’d have told me five years ago that Bret Hart and the Rock would return I’d have been elated. I’d be thinking WWE had turned the right corner, that these two storylines could really blow the roof off. The last thing I’d have thought was that Bret Harts return would have went over like an anvil and that the Rock would come back to work a mediocre program with John Cena.
Who knew that CM Punk would walk out on Raw and say so many things that fans had been thinking for so long only for it to be forgotten the next week? Someone still has to explain to me why a massive storyline was built around this guy leaving the company with the title only to see him leave for a week. People had been clamoring for the return of Triple H and yet it doesn’t seem like his return has made a lick of difference in the horrendous nature of the program other than the fact that we get to see him come out and talk for a few segments on every show. Kevin Nash, who once galvanized the wrestling world with the nWo comes out to the ring looking about as interested in being there as I do waiting in line at the DMV. Textgate, which was this intriguing storyline with multiple suspects, turns out to be “Nash texted Nash” which makes sense to someone, somewhere, I’m sure. But, keep in mind, there are people out there who think Jersey Shore is a good show so that doesn’t add a lot of credence to this blunder.
The Supershow has delivered to us several “exciting” things. Live, on Monday Night, we’ve gotten to see Randy Orton in a squash match against Heath Slater, Teddy Long making eight man tag matches because apparently, aside from Triple H and the seemingly forgotten Anonymous General Manager, he also has the power to make matches. Who could forget the amazingly intriguing, hand-shakingly excited clash between WWE Tag Team Champions, Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne (I will not call them “Air Boom.” It sounds like an action performed in the bathroom of an airplane) take on the formidable team of… Jinder Mahal and the Great Khali. Well this is living up to be everything we’d thought it could be, right? Oh boy.
So aside from a few random Smackdown stars thrown into Raw what have we gotten? The same show, the same poor writing, the same half-assed booking. What exactly did they think this was going to do? You can change your show into a Supershow, or change the name of your company completely (*cough*TNA*cough*) but if you’re not going to actually change what you’re doing it is going to be completely meaningless. The idea of ending the brand split could have been something major but if they ever do decide to completely end it on all shows I think they’ve taken some dangerous steps towards damaging that concept by making Raw a “Supershow.” I suppose I should start rebranding my old columns as “Supercolumns” and that will magically make them better than they were to start out with, right?
What could make a Supershow super? How about new matches, exciting storylines, fresh rivalries? Maybe we could see Randy Orton wrestle someone who he hasn’t wrestled before in a match that takes longer than two minutes and actually makes a difference as applies to the Raw superstars? Maybe, just maybe, we could get a wrestling show that actually makes us want to keep watching? The NFL season is opening and WWE didn’t even try to do a single thing to make any NFL fans feel like they might be missing something if they tuned out next week. I don’t watch football but even I am not sure what I’m supposed to be tuning in to see. Hell, they didn’t even announce the main event on Monday until five minutes before it was happening. Some Supershow, huh?
You can slap the word “Super” in front of anything you want but that doesn’t actually mean anything. To make Raw “super” you’re going to have to make it more than it already is, and that shouldn’t be complicated because it currently isn’t much of anything. Right now I’d be happy just for Raw to be good. Maybe that is the platform they should have aimed for first. Monday Night Raw: Good Show. I’ll take a good show over a supershow any day, at least, if this is what a supershow has in store for us. A Good show.. what a novel idea.
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