Raw Review – October 25, 2010
-It’s a good Monday because YOUR Pittsburgh Steelers are 5-1 after escaping Florida with a win yesterday.
-I skipped the PPV last night and, by all accounts, that seemed like a VERY good decision. A disqualification in the main event? John Cena wrestling WITHOUT being advertised? Come on now, those are rookie mistakes right there. I thought this was supposed to be the “greatest creative team in wrestling” or whatever and instead we get things that make you go “huh?”
-LIVE! from Green Bay, WI (Brett Favre…penis….hot girl with plastic chest…there, I’m done)
-Nexus hits the ring and David Otunga can now stand beside such luminaries as Rosey, the Hurricane, Curt Hawkins, Rico, and Domino as World Tag Team champion. Barrett introduces the Nexus members in case any new viewers (HAHAHAHAHA) are watching tonight and gloat about helping to bury the Undertaker. So why were they involved? Here comes the explanation…oh wait, it’s none of our business. That’s carny for “the creative team can’t come up with a good reason for now.” Barrett and Cena argue over the finish last night until the Mystery GM chimes in and books Orton vs. any member of Nexus for the right to select the special guest referee in the Barrett/Orton rematch. Barrett naturally selects John Cena but David Otunga bitches about the tag match last night so Wade books….
WWE Tag Titles
John Cena & David Otunga vs. Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel
Crowd isn’t sure what to make of this one and not in a good way. Barrett quickly interjects himself and surprisingly orders David Otunga to lay down, which has Otunga shall we say less than thrilled.
Winners and NEW Champions: Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel
-Angles for tag title matches RULE! But, to be honest, does anyone really give a shit who the tag champs are anymore? Didn’t think so. DUD
Tag titles being over? I don’t believe it.
-Vickie Guerrero comes out to bitch about the officiating in the Dolph/Bryan match last night and promises vengeance tonight.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan
Kaitlyn is actually pretty hot but they all are so it’s not exactly anything special. CM Punk joins us on commentary for no reason as Dolph shows off some matwork. Bryan comes back with a stomp and kick to the chest before getting the surfboard and then bending Dolph at the back…ouch. Ziggler recovers with a rollup for two but Bryan hits a dropkick for two. Daniel dumps him and dives through the ropes to pop the crowd but WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK!!
When we return, Bryan is making a comeback with a pair of dropkicks for two and kicks away for another near fall. LaBell Lock attempt forces Ziggler to the ropes so Bryan tries a hurricanrana from the top but Dolph rolls through for two in a nice counter. Bryan avoids the sleeper but eats a superkick for two in another nicely worked spot as Vickie screeches on the outside. Zig Zag misses and Bryan tries a victory roll but Ziggler sits down for two and a double KO to put over the match intensity. Slugfest leads to Ziggler getting a reverse powerslam while Punk mocks Lawler for never calling the match…it’s funny because it’s TRUE. Sleeper gets locked on but Bryan fights to the ropes and uses them for leverage to apply the LaBell Lock. Vickie gets involves and yanks Dolph’s leg under the ropes but the referee doesn’t see it and Ziggler taps out to end things.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
-You definitely can’t say they aren’t putting Bryan over as he has tapped the Miz and the Intercontinental champion within weeks of each other. These two have pretty decent chemistry and that means a good TV match ***. Punk applauds to set the stage for a program with Bryan and I’m definitely for that one.
-Backstage, “guest star” Toby Keith gets presented with a world title belt by the Bella Sluts until Santino Marella embarrasses himself yet again by singing about all his past loves. Sheamus gets pissed and challenges Santino for later tonight…well, that shouldn’t take long.
-Meanwhile. John Cena goes all emo and threatens to quit. Barrett manages to convince him to stay by making him an offer he can’t refuse. Is it a cool sports jacket with a rose on it?
LayCool vs. Gail Kim & Melina
Isn’t EVERYONE in the women’s division a former champion? Melina kicks Layla’s ass and gets a facebuster for two but they both hit a cross body and it’s a double KO. McCool gets a blind tag, hits a big boot, and gets the win. Wow.
-Can’t this kind of shit be on Superstars? Isn’t that what the show is for? And another thing, does Gail Kim seriously still get a paycheck for stuff like this? Once again…DUD.
You can’t be first baby, but you can be next. WOOOOO
-Poor WWE is still being picked on by all those nasty politicians….awww *sad trombone noise*.
-The Miz is out to bitch about Team Raw choking at the PPV and brag about being on the cover of the new WWE video game. He challenges Rey Mysterio to come to Raw next week so he can beat some sense into him and…wait…this just in….Miz is awesome. Out of nowhere, Eve hits the ring and cuts a promo on Miz…it’s about as good as her dancing. This sounded like two 3rd graders arguing on the playground. R-Truth and his awful entrance theme (the lack of a pop doesn’t lie) joins and…wait hold on….hey Eve, STOP FUCKING DANCING LIKE THAT. They are going to call the paramedics thinking you’re having a damn seizure one of these days, holy shit. Guess what this leads to?
R-Truth vs. The Miz
Truth takes control with a hiptoss and dumps Miz to the floor to allow us to take a commercial break and let Michael Cole freak out.
We come back with Miz in control with a chinlock but Truth quickly fights out and makes the comeback. Are we seriously trying to get “frog-face” over as an insult to Miz? What is this, 1956? Clothesline takes Truth down and Miz stomps away for two while Cole and Alex Riley have a bromance. Truth fights out of a rest hold and reverses a back suplex for two but quickly gets slugged down. Miz clothesline in the corner (Miz-line?) gets two and they head up top but nothing comes of it and Truth makes the babyface comeback.
Leg lariat sets up the Falcon Arrow for two so Truth busts out a stunner for another near fall. I’d say Austin has been retired long enough for someone to steal that as a finisher…it only makes sense. Truth sends Miz tumbling to the outside and Alex Riley gets involved with Eve. Truth decides only HE can date a horrible dancer so he takes out Riley and rolls Miz up for two. Truth looks to finish with the Axe Kick but Miz expertly avoids it and the Skull Crushing Finale ends things.
Winner: The Miz
-A good, competitive match but Miz needs to win these matches from now on, he’s past that whole transitional phase. Truth was game (as he always is) and the result was another good TV match **3/4.
-Toby Keith comes out to suck up to all the fat, sausage-eating Packers fans and claims he decided to make this Green Bay trip last night. Ummm…wasn’t this whole appearance advertised for months? Anyways, Toby’s promo limps to an end and we get…
Sheamus vs. Santino Marella
Santino isn’t exactly in a hurry to get to the ring for this one. Marella gets words of encouragement from 23-time world champion Toby Keith for inspiration but gets destroyed as soon as he enters the ring. Sheamus looks to finish with the pump kick but Santino falls over before it can hit. John Morrison comes out to protest the match and protect Marella but the Irish show no mercy. Sheamus shows off a bit too much for Morrison and misses a blind charge to the corner and Santino…gets the pin?!
Winner: Santino Marella
-These are the kind of stupid finishes that cause guys to have problems staying over. What was the point of that finish? I know it’s a fluke and all but it was a clean win because Morrison never touched Sheamus….DUD.
-Let’s all stand up for WWE because we all lose when politicians make fun of a multi-million dollar corporation.
-Meanwhile, David Otunga is pissed off at Barrett and threatens to tell everyone why Nexus attacked the Undertaker. Barrett, however, introduces Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty as the newest Nexus members in order to get Otunga to back off.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena
Hey, remember when we were told we would never see this match EVER again? This match-up is staler than your mother’s crotch. Stalemate spots establish equality until Orton counters a bulldog and hammers away while Barrett looks on. Cena fights back but misses a shoulder block and tumbles to the outside, allowing Barrett to get involved for the first time and give Cena a chance to recover. THE DRAMA, THE PASSION, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? STAY TUNED!!!
Unreal game show
We return with our hero fighting out of an Orton chinlock but a DDT quickly puts Cena down for two. Orton jobs around for a bit and waits until Cena inevitably makes his SOS comeback and they exchange finisher reversals. Orton then makes HIS babyface comeback but Cena counters the hangman’s DDT and dumps Randy to the outside. Barrett tries to add some punishment but Cena is just TOO DAMN FACE for that and he shoves Wade over. Strangely enough, he has no problem ramming Orton into the ring barrier even though he is the bastion of good sportsmanship. Back in, Cena gets his top rope legdrop for two and tries for another Attitude Adjustment but gets dropped neck-first on the ropes.
Randy takes his time before charging and Cena locks on the STF so Barrett helpfully pulls the ropes away from Orton’s reach. Once again, John Cena The Most Virtuous Man of All Time confronts Barrett about his blatant cheating but that just gives Orton time to recover and hit the hangman’s DDT. He looks to finish but the RKO is countered into the Attitude Adjustment…for two. Orton pops up with an RKO but Cena smartly rolls to the outside to keep himself from getting pinned. Stupidly, Orton rolls Cena back into the ring (just take the count-out, smart guy) and looks for the PUNT OF CERTAIN DEATH but Barrett yanks Cena out…and clotheslines him. Hey guess what?
Winner by DQ: John Cena
-They certainly are working this DQ finish, aren’t they? Match was going along fine until the crappy ending ***. Nexus attacks so Orton and Cena clean house until Barrett calls him off and selects John Cena to be the special guest referee for Survivor Series…zero heat/pop for that one. Barrett promises to fire Cena if he doesn’t win the title at the PPV but, as a man of his word, Wade also promises to allow Cena to leave Nexus if he wins the title….interesting.
Well, the wrestling was definitely better than a normal episode but, aside from the Nexus program, there really isn’t a whole lot else going on. It’s pretty obvious the 7 vs. 7 Bragging Rights match meant absolutely nothing (which the buyrate will also show) and it seems the “WWE Universe” is getting burnt out on shitty PPVs. Fine episode this week and an interesting twist to the Cena saga means it was better than average so there’s always that.