The Cahoon Run Down: Missing Wrestlers

Hey everybody, I’m back! Yes, after a four week hiatus dealing with an illness that was never really diagnosed and I still haven’t completely gotten over, I’m back to rock the internet wrestling world with more unhappy, sarcastic articles. On this, my first week back, I want to talk about something that I’ve been thinking about for a while: Rey Mysterio and The Miz. Or, more accurately, the prolonged absence of the aforementioned wrestlers. I really miss them. That’s weird for two reasons: Miz was doing nothing at the time of his disappearance, and I kind of hate Rey Mysterio… Anyway, point is, I’m actually at a point where I can’t wait for these two to return. I’m not really sure why that is. I’m going to try and figure it out in this week’s edition of The Cahoon Run Down!

Obviously, there’s a fairly concrete reason for my missing The Miz: I love him. I can’t wait for him to come back, because I assume that he’ll be given an actual storyline. He’s one of the company’s up and coming “Top Stars Forever” and the way he was taken off of television was just shameful. He wasn’t really taken off in any specific way… I’m at a point now, especially after that debacle of a RAW this past Monday, that I can’t wait for the Awesome One to get back. Throw him in a feud with Punk! I love Bryan, don’t get me wrong, but to see Miz chasing the belt again, against CM Punk no less, would be amazing. Sure he was gimmick-less when he left, but right now his mere presence would seem like a godsend. Filming has wrapped up on The Marine 3, so I assume we’ll see him back on the 1000th RAW.

Now, as I stated, with Rey Mysterio things are a little different. I don’t really like the guy. He was amazing in his prime, but now I always view him as a broken old dude who won’t retire when it’s his time. He got hurt about… Geez it’s been almost a year at this point. His knee is so effed up that I wouldn’t be surprised if he just hurts it again upon return. If he’s wearing a knee brace again, expect him to keep accidentally cutting guys like he did before. And of course, we can expect him to be senselessly tossed into a few more unnecessary title feuds and matches. Here’s the thing though: For whatever reason, I just don’t care about that. I just want to see Rey Mysterio again, ridiculous outfits, unnecessary presence and all.

I have a few theories, I suppose, as to why this is, and I doubt that this idea of missing someone you don’t necessarily like is something that’s unique to me. My first theory of course, is because maybe I want to see him come back and get his ass handed to him by some up and coming young talent, but I doubt that will happen. Unless you really, REALLY hate a wrestler, you always start to miss their presence eventually. Take, for example, when Booker T returned. Everybody marked the f*** out! EVERYBODY! Didn’t matter if you hated him, loved him, whatever. He had been gone for so long and it was awesome to see him back. I think the same went for Kevin Nash. HHH as well during pretty much every return he’s ever done. It’s just great to see a guy who’s been gone for a while come back. Now Rey hasn’t been gone quite as long as those guys were, but I think the point still stands.

But I’m not totally ready to accept the, “It’s just nice to see guys return” rationale just yet. Because, in all honesty, I don’t know that it would really be all that nice to see Rey Mysterio return. He’s a spotlight hog. However, as was one of my main reasons for wanting Miz back, Rey would really bring a lot of variety to a product that is getting almost unbearably stale. Oh sure, Rey has feuded with most guys in the company. But now, we have a slew of new talent on the roster. Tensai, Sandow, Claudio Castagnoli, the list goes on. Add them to guys coming over from NXT once they’re ready, and you could put Rey in a potentially very entertaining feud with a young heel (entertaining as long as Rey loses). It would be by no means perfect, but who wouldn’t love to see Rey and Damien Sandow go back and forth on the mic, Sandow just constantly making him look like a fool? Or how about a feud between the only entertaining guy in the company besides Sandow, Daniel Bryan and Rey? Even with Rey’s reduced mobility and moveset, I think they could put on some great matches. Even just toss him on a team with someone, and have him chase the tag titles! Boom, add some legitimacy to the division. The landscape of the WWE has changed so much at this point, that the possibilities for fresh angles with both he and The Miz are almost endless.

But once again, though all of those ideas are very alluring, I doubt WWE will follow through with any of them (Uniqueness seems to be very absent from the company these days), so that’s not even enough reason for me to be missing Rey Mysterio so much. Not to get all schmaltzy here, but I think I know at this point what the real reason is: We miss wrestlers when they’re gone because they’re a part of our lives! We stay with them through horrible angles, through injuries, through the highs and the lows, and they entertain us. Whether a guy is our favorite wrestler or our least favorite, they’re all a part of this one amazing unit that we love. And that’s why, love them or hate them, you miss them when they’re gone, and you’re elated when they return. Many of us grew up with these guys, surrounded by this atmosphere. Whether the gimmick is good or lousy, these characters are a part of your life. For me, that’s how it is with Rey Mysterio. I may talk a lot of s*** on him these days, but he was a part of my childhood! I’ll always have a certain deep respect and admiration for him, and now with the company in shambles more than ever, I honestly can’t wait to see him 619ing some people. Wrestling is a business that you either “get” or you don’t. It has some of the most fickle, hard to please fans around. But I think that’s because we’re so genuine! We may complain about wrestlers, claim we loathe them, criticize every aspect of their character, look and abilities, but when they return… We welcome them back with open arms, and rousing cheers.


Damn, I did get too schmaltzy there…

Well that’s it guys! Check back next week for another edition of The Cahoon Run Down. It ran a little short this week, but that’s because I’m still kind of rusty. To talk wrestling, articles or anything really, email me ( and friend me on Facebook (NoDQ Geddy Cahoon).

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