The Cahoon Run Down: Random WWE Thoughts
Hey everybody, Geddy Cahoon here with another edition of The Cahoon Run Down. I’ll make a long story short: There’s not much going on in WWE these days. At least, nothing I could possibly make an entire article out of. That and I think that the length of time I’ve been doing this for is finally catching up with me and it’s getting more and more difficult to write something original and entertaining each week. I’d rather not write at all than phone it in week in week out, and with the amount of personal stuff I have going on these days coupled with how busy I am with school and whatnot could conceivably result in a leave of absence of some sort from regular column writing for me… I’m not saying anything definite, just something I’ve been considering. All these things taken into account, and not wanting to not write for a second week in a row, I decided to go with my old failsafe: The good ol’ Random Thoughts! Here, I’ll just write whatever random crap pops into my head about various WWE goings-on. Enjoy!
Over The Limit As a Whole: Could the build to this pay per view be any more of a joke? I didn’t even know it was this Sunday. People say that there’s always this lull in between ‘Mania and the big Summer storyline, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. And the worst part is that it looks like its going to be a super-solid card, from a purely technical standpoint. The Fatal 4 Way is sure to be fantastic, as Sheamus, Del Rio and Jericho are workers who always deliver, and Orton usually does well when presented with competent opponents. Plus, we’re finally getting the match that has had the IWC creaming in their collective jeans: CM Punk vs. the now massively popular D-Bry. The problem is, none of these stories are even stories. It’s sort of like the Royal Rumble, actually. The champs are fighting guys for no conceivable reason with little thought put into the stories because the focus is on the Rumble match. The issue with this is of course that there’s nothing to focus on! Everything is being rushed, as far as I can tell, for the hell of it. Are we supposed to be super excited for Cena/Laurinaitis? That’s going to be a joke as well. Really, this whole pay per view is suffering from WWE booking on the fly and not putting enough thought into anything.
The Tag Team Division is Sort of Coming Back: This was actually something I wrote about in the first article I EVER wrote, for NoDQ.com. It was actually the article that got me accepted as a columnist for them. But enough of my pseudo-nostalgic waxing. Point is, the division seemed to be coming back in August, but then it hit another wall. Now, WWE has a ton of teams. The titles are even being advertised and appearing on a PPV! And all the guys in the tag title match are credible, big names. It’s American Perfection and Kofi Kingston and R-Truth battling for the belts, for those who don’t know. I’m all for these guys fighting for the belts for now, and eventually having some of the younger, midcard teams contend for and win them. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young are probably WWE’s best bet for a run ASAP. As long as this trend of the titles actually being on PPV continues, I don’t care who has them.
What the Hell Happened to Ziggler?: Do I really need to say more here? I know I just said he’s bringing legitimacy to the tag division, but all of the IWC seems to think he’s suited for something more. Me personally? I think he has potential, but he’s far from the expert, amazing, elite worker the internet makes him out to be. He basically oversells moves and flails around. WWE seems to push him every year around Rumble time, and then rips the rug out from under him. Strange.
Goldust’s Release: Apparently, Goldust was fired for booking the spot on SD a few weeks back where O’Neil and Young almost broke Yoshi Tatsu in half. That’s justifiable; He shouldn’t have booked something so dangerous for guys so green. On the other hand, O’Neil and Young have been with the company for a combined total of like 65,000 years. They should be a little bit better in the ring by now. All I have to say here is that Dustin is one of my all time favorite wrestlers, and I’m sure he’ll get rehired in some sort of backstage role eventually. Sad he got the axe before he could do a program with Cody though. That would’ve been awesome.
John Cena’s Divorce: I’m one of the biggest Cena fans on the face of the Earth, so the fact that he’s going through such a messy, emotionally devastating divorce really saddens me. The guy needs time off. I feel awful watching him perform each week knowing that in the back of his head he just really doesn’t want to be there. On top of being bad for him, it also kind of kills the show for me. I mean we all know wrestling’s fake, but when Cena is out there and he knows and you know that he has to deal with all this legal shit and how unhappy he currently is, it shatters the illusion more than any botch ever could. The guy needs time off. And really, this is the perfect time to do it. They’ve set it up so well, too. He could get “injured” by somebody at OTL, and return before SummerSlam in some earth-shattering manner to set up a big storyline. A lot of the time, I think we forget that the wrestlers are real people who have real emotions and problems. This is the reason off time was created. And him taking off benefits everybody. The IWC that hates him gets to live free of him for a few months, and he gets to sort out his personal matters privately.
Damien Sandow AKA My New Boyfriend: For a while there, I was in love with Daniel Bryan. Now, my heart belongs to Damien Sandow. I present to you, Damien Sandow’s SmackDown debut from two weeks back:
Did watch that? Good. Watch it again. Watch the SHIT out of it. Because that is 3 minutes of pure, unadulterated, AWESOME. When they first showed vignettes for this dude a couple of months back, I was skeptical. Then, they showed a few and I realized “Wow, he can cut a really good promo,” and I got super-excited for his debut. And what a debut it was. Promo-wise and gimmick wise, this guy is SET. My only worry now is whether he can perform in the ring. I didn’t follow wrestling when he was Idol Stevens in the KC James and Idol Stevens team, so I can’t confirm that. I’m also too lazy to look footage up on Youtube. But if he can wrestle, on top of having that awesome look and those amazing promo-cutting abilities, Damien Sandow is going to be the most entertaining act in WWE, and could conceivably become my favorite performer in the company. Seriously, just watch that video again and tell me I’m wrong. WWE is doing something right with this guy; be happy.
Well, that’s it for this week! As always, to talk wrestling, action figures, or anything else, email me (hahahahawhy@Yahoo.com) and friend me on Facebook (Nodq Geddy Cahoon). Be sure to check out the other sites: NoDQ, Quick Wrestling News, and Nerd World Country! And, as always, thanks for reading!