The Cahoon Run Down: Random WWE Thoughts
Hey everybody, Geddy Cahoon here with another edition of The Cahoon Run Down. I’m gonna be honest here: I racked my brain Tuesday and yesterday trying to come up with a decent article subject. I couldn’t. WWE is in a slump. There’s just no other way to word it. So today, I figured I’d use my go to “I can’t think of anything decent to write this week” article subject: Random Thoughts. Here I’ll just throw down a brief little summary/review of essentially whatever topics from the WWE world pop into my head.
The Dolph Ziggler/Chris Jericho Program: These are two guys that I am fond of, but believe to be either overrated or boring, respectively. Ever since winning the MiTB briefcase, Dolph Ziggler has either lost matches or looked like an idiot. His tenure with the ‘case has actually been somewhat similar to Daniel Bryan’s from last year. Chris Jericho has literally done nothing since returning to the company, and I just kind of sigh every time he appears on screen. This feud could potentially be good, as long as Ziggler goes over. I assume he will, but that would be logical so WWE may not go that route. The thing is though… It hasn’t even really been a “feud” thus far. I get that the root of it is based on Ziggler insulting him, but thus far it hasn’t really been hyped up or mentioned or anything, far as I can tell. They’re kind of just fighting, and I really don’t like how Jericho randomly turned face. I HATE it when guys randomly turn heel or face. He had no reason to turn! Heels rip on each other all the time! Ugh. I’m just really bored by the prospect of this turning into an honest to goodness feud, but I guess it’s all good so long as Zigs goes over.
The World Title Picture: I mentioned in the most recent episode of WrestlingBreakDown (More on that later) that the World Title and the men contending for it have pretty much become a nuisance at this point. Sheamus as a Face does not work as well as it did when he turned Face last year. The thing is though, I don’t even want him to turn Heel. I’m sick of Sheamus in every iteration. And SPOILER WARNING
Alberto Del Rio, the most boring, useless wrestler in existence is STILL the number one contender! What the hell! It’s like WWE doesn’t want us to care about the World Title! I honestly kind of wish Ziggler would cash in at this point. He doesn’t need to be built up anymore, and it would eventually free us from the boredom of having Alberto Del Rio on our televisions. I’m honestly getting bored writing about the World Title picture so… Let’s move on.
Rey Mysterio’s Return: A few weeks back, I wrote about how much I missed Rey Mysterio, because WWE’s current roster was really boring me. Now he’s back and… I hate him, just like I did before he left last year. I guess all things are fleeting and Rey Mysterio is better in theory than in execution.
The Burying of Jack Swagger: Two weeks ago on RAW, Jack Swagger was the toughest opponent Ryback had ever faced. On RAW 1000, he got his ass kicked in two moves by Brodus Clay. That’s… That’s just pathetic. If you read my articles, you know I love Jack Swagger. It seems like guys I love always fail in WWE (I loved Ken Kennedy all those years ago when he was actually good), and Swagger is no exception. It’s really sad to have to say this, but WWE should release him. I’d rather not see him at all than continue to have to see my favorite wrestler degraded. It would be a mercy killing, and this is my final consensus: Push him or release him. Speaking of Ryback…
The Absence of Tensai and Ryback on RAW 1000: In terms of showcasing guys who are up and coming, RAW 1000 featured Damien Sandow and Brodus Clay. Now, you’ll find no bigger Damien Sandow fan than me, but both of their segments were just stupid and didn’t help either guy. This RAW was an hour longer than normal, and every RAW after it will be, so the fact that they didn’t have a TON of young guys on the show was deplorable. Antonio Cesaro, The Prime Time Players, Tyson Kidd, Tensai, and Ryback. These are just to name a few of the up and coming (Or in Tensai’s case, guys that WWE is supposedly pushing) stars that were COMPLETELY ABSENT from the show. If WWE wants these guys to work, they need to be on television. Especially with all of the extra time they now have. I’d rather see these guys in action than a ton of video packages that no one cares about, for sure.
CM Punk as a Heel and The Rock: This might be a long one. To address the first point – I’m unbelievably psyched for Heel CM Punk. You can’t argue that CM Punk is much more effective as a Heel than a Face. And if you’re one of those people who thought he was an “anti-hero” for the last year, you’re an idiot. Punk is just a natural bad guy. People like to boo things that go against their own sensibilities. Look at D-Bry. People were so quick to boo his vegan-ism when he turned, just like people absolutely love to boo Punk’s straight edge lifestyle when he’s a Heel. I agree with his heel rants for the most part (I’m straight edge; nowhere near as over the top as Heel Punk though), and he’s captivating as a Heel. Now obviously, he’ll be involved in a feud with Big Show and Cena, which isn’t that great since he feuded with Cena last year and Big Show can fuck himself, but I’m just looking forward to being entertained by CM Punk again.
As for The Rock… Obviously, Punk and Rock will be fighting in a few months. I have a lot of issues with The Rock, but I’m not totally averse to the idea of that. It could be a solid technical match, and I also loved that CM Punk actually took The Rock out on RAW. Because apparently attacking a guy who’s never there and the fans really shouldn’t like, logically, automatically makes you a bad guy. But if it gets Punk over as a bad guy, I’m cool with it. However, reports are already surfacing that the plan is to have Rock go over at Royal Rumble. What. The fuck. I can’t even begin to adequately convey how stupid that is. Okay, so CM Punk can be a top Heel for a few months, but then just gets buried by The Rock? I just don’t understand why the guy always needs to win! It’s like WWE is rewarding him for caring more about movies than fans. And how is a guy who’s not even around full time supposed to be champ?! Cause I got news for you: Regardless of what happens, he ain’t comin’ back.
RAW 1000: To hear my full thoughts on RAW 1000, watch the third episode of the WrestlingRegime.com videocast, WrestlingBreakDown:
Well, that’s it for this week! Be sure to post your thoughts, comments and opinions below! Check out WrestlingBreakDown on Youtube, email me (hahahahawhy@Yahoo.com) and friend me on Facebook (Nodq Geddy Cahoon) to talk wrestling, articles etc. Also check out articles from my friend Kevin Dunne as soon as those go up. Thanks for reading!