I cannot believe the amount of emails I get asking me what I would do to fix, or make the WWE better. People seem to think highly of my opinion and why wouldn’t they I am usually right. The reason I didn’t write a column last week is I was working on this one, well that and I just got a new puppy and he’s a bit of a chore. Without further ado, here are five ways I’d change WWE for the better.
5. Clean Finishes: There was a time when people use to win a title honestly. Sure, there have always been heels that weasel out wins, especially on televised broadcasts. However now I cannot remember the last time I saw a clean finish at a pay per view. Pay per view use to be a place we could go to see an argument, feud, rivalry settled with a good clean finish. Now, well now, the WWE makes us watch The Miz never win a match cleanly, and even though I am a huge Miz fan, it has been tiresome to see the same scenario playing out every title match. Just once, I would like to see The Miz beat Randy Orton honestly, if only to validate him as champion. I think the WWE creative team uses this cop out as a way to make WWE fans hate heels more, when in reality The Miz is enough of a jerk that he could get a few clean finishes and still get heat from the WWE faithful. I think he would probably get more heat this way now than going on the course they have Miz heading now. If The Miz has to cheat to beat Jerry Lawler a guy so far past his prime he makes Ali vs. Holmes look like a fair fight, than The Miz loses all credibility. However knowing what we know about Wrestlemania there is a great chance Michael Cole will screw over Lawler. Now I’m all for Lawler getting his Wrestlemania match, but just not at the expense of The Miz’s credibility. In addition, it isn’t just Miz getting finishes ruined, we’ve had to watch Vicki constantly screw up Ziggler vs. Edge matches for over a month now. By having Vicki cheat every single match and then having Edge still win doesn’t make Edge seem all that much stronger. All it does is make Ziggler look very weak.
4. Who is the damn Raw GM?: Now I’ve gone on record as saying I like the anonymous Raw General Manager and for a long time I did enjoy the gimmick. However, at some point, we need a payoff and for how long this has gone on this pay off needs to be big. I do not think WWE creative, or Vince has any idea where this is going. I use to have faith that they had this whole thing planned out and there would be a fun payoff at Wrestlemania, but there is nothing that indicates we will ever find out who it is. Like I stated before it was fun for a while, but now we need a person in that spot. You cannot over look how awesome it is to have a person there live to get the crowd into frenzy, and while the anonymous Raw GM’s emails, with Michael Cole reading them use to bring good loud heat, is now only met with annoyed grunts from the crowd. Also can I just say people at live events please for the love of all that is holy we no longer need the “What?!” chants okay? It is no longer the early 2000s and we just don’t need it anymore. I love face-to-face encounters people have with good GMs; a good GM enhances an angle and doesn’t bring the show to a screeching halt. Speaking of GMs, at some point can’t we get rid of both Vicki and Teddy? Please? Vicki gets good heat and I think she’s better as a manager, but having her as the GM just gets too old, too fast, and Teddy well let’s just say I think watching paint dry would make a better GM. The WWE needs two new GMs, and I already have a great candidate for the Raw spot, Kevin Nash. You will not find anyone funnier, smarter, or more over with the crowd than Kevin would be. He is still great on the mic, he can get physical when necessary and no one is intimidating Big Sexy. Bring him in as the Raw GM and that show is instantly 10 times better. My replacement for Smackdown’s GM is a little unconventional but very intriguing, Dustin Rhodes as Goldust. Talk about turning a show on its head, no one is more controversial than Goldust and I have always been very entertained by Dustin in any character, but specifically as Goldust. Could you imagine Vicki having to work for that psycho or Edge having to try to reason with him? There is no way you aren’t tuning in to see the comedy that ensues with him as GM, and his comedy is a million times better than watching Santino Marella or Hornswaggle. In addition, could you imagine the back stage segments between Nash and Goldust during the WWE draft? Pure comedy and entertainment gold would ensue.
3. Less Pay per views: This is one that won’t happen but I wish it would for several reasons. Having fewer Pay per views would allow for more organic storytelling and allow character and rivalries grow. Everything seems so rushed now; I mean I just got finished digesting the Royal Rumble and WWE is already at the Elimination Chamber. I think there should be one pay per view every two months rather than every month. This would strengthen the televised product because they could put some of those pay per view quality matches on Raw and Smackdown. In addition, WWE creative would have two months to build up the matches for every single pay per view. They would be able to make us care about every single rivalry that much more and that would only strengthen the brand. To throw it back to my point earlier they could get all of those crappy none clean finishes on television and make that once every two months pay per view actually have a good , clean, honest finish. You could make better video packages for every pay per view, and I don’t know about you guys but that stuff matters to me. I love Wrestlemania because there is a huge build up to it; almost every match has a great video package for it. Say what you want about the WWE but they can put together great video packages and giving them an extra month to work on them only means I’d care more. In this economy, very few people are shelling out $45.99 every single month anyway. With another month to build the matches, and with less to buy every year they become more special and the buy rates might be even better than they are now with one every month.
2. Overhaul the Tag Team Division: Now I know Vince thinks tag teams are for Indy shows and people only tune in to see great singles wrestling but I think he is so far off on the subject that someone needs to hit him over the head with a steel chair until he gets it. (I’ll even volunteer to be the guy that does it) The fact that Kozlov and Santino are holding the same belts that The Rockers, Legion of Doom, The New Age Outlaws, and countless other greats held is appalling. The very idea of Santino and his stupid Cobra being anything more than a jobber makes me sick to my stomach. Here is what I do to change the division into the most entertaining segment on Raw and Smackdown. I take every high flyer in the WWE that is not getting a shot at anything right now and put them together in teams. Evan Bourne, Yoshi Tatsu, Justin Gabriel,Tyson Kidd, Zack Ryder, Rey Mysterio, and just add more and more high flyers. Just make that 8-10 minutes the most exciting 8-10 minutes on Raw and Smackdown. Make it like the old X-Division in TNA but more exciting because of the tag team element added to it. This allows the WWE to highlight young highflying talent, and actually have some entertaining moments on Raw and Smackdown. Now, tell me would you rather see Santino and Kozlov muddle through another match or watch Bourne and Justin Gabriel take on Tyson Kidd and Zack Ryder in a high flying match with breath taking dives to the outside? Yeah, I would pick the high flying to, however for some reason the people at WWE creative think Santino acting like a complete moron is more entertaining. Just think having the tag team division be only high flyers would have kept Shelton Benjamin around a lot longer, he could have teamed up with Evan Bourne and made the most exciting 10 minutes every single Raw and Smackdown. Instead, Vince chooses to underutilize great young talent and bury the tag division because you know it is always a great idea to dilute your own product.
1. Keep TV PG but make pay per views TV14: Now this is the big one at least it is for me. I have no problem with the WWE having their televised broadcasts be TVPG. I also think the writing could be a lot better and still be PG but that is a much bigger issue and one that I just don’t have time to get into now. Like I said keep television PG but I need a big pay off at a pay per view. Remember in my world there are only six pay per views a year, meaning they are already special occasions, and now that we as fans know that they are TV14, meaning they can get more brutal they are even more special. I just don’t see how they have a Hell in a Cell gimmick pay per view and not have blood or any kind of real brutality. Now Vince and his team can harp on the fact that they got rid of headshots and blood to protect its talent and I guess I’m cool with that. However if Vince really cared about his talents health he’d have a health care plan for them and he would lessen the number of days they wrestle and are on the road. Until he does either of those things I’m not buying he actually cares and this move to make it “safer”. It’s really just a knee jerk reaction to the Benoit incident and his wife running for public office. No, in my WWE there would be headshots and blood, but only at pay per views. Pay per views use to mean something, it meant finality to most rivaliries, it meant blood, it meant something special is going to happen. Now, well not it’s just like watching Raw or Smackdown but with a few more minutes of actual in ring wrestling. Pay pre views mean nothing now, I would change that, and changing that would change everything we hate about the WWE now.
Well that is all for this week as always thank for reading and if you wish to email me do so at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sincerely The Wrestling Genius,