The Wrestling Genius: Demboys, Monsters, and Kurt Angle One Doesn’t Belong
I’ve been doing this column for about a year and a half. The format is constantly changing and I think it’s a unique mostly positive column. However a quick disclaimer this week I’m pretty negative. Sorry for that I generally try to see the good in each angle or story.
What in the world was Brutus Clay doing on Monday?
Besides dancing like he’s never danced before? Nope, not going near this one Funkasaurus has my vote of confidence because that dude is talented.
Monday saw a movie monster scene featuring the guy who has no idea how to change a tire, are you serious bro?
My hatred for the Kane angle has reached the point where I’m left with nothing absolutely nothing good to say about it. Kane went from a sith lord trying to turn Cena to the dark, to a Jason Voorhees rip off. All we are missing is Camp Crystal Lake. You even had the far too easy to kill teenager in Ryder. Ryder seriously didn’t know you need a jack to change a tire? The “fall” he took was comical and Cena’s reaction was pricelessly bad and by the way he executed a move on Ziggler that looked dangerous as Hell because he cared more about looking scared for Ryder than Ziggler’s wellbeing. I haven’t seen acting that bad since Naughty Night Nurses 2, not that I would watch anything like that….moving on. The WWE went from pushing a reality angle to Funkasaurus and Kane the B-movie horror villain. Good job WWE, I’m so pissed I’m done talking about you in my column; you are punished for a week.
Should I talk about TNA?
No, not at all.
Are the Briscoe Brothers the last outlaws in Pro Wrestling?
There are so few left that I might have to say they are the last on any big company going today. For those of you who don’t know who they are….where have you been? These two are the current Ring of Honor Tag Team Champions. While I like Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne neither would last ten minutes in a tag match against these two. You don’t so much wrestle the Briscoes as you just try to survive their onslaught. These two are as old school hardcore as you can get in today’s politically correct wrestling world. Their collar elbow tie ups hit as hard as some guys punches, and their punches would make Rocky flinch. These two don’t take a night off that I have ever seen and you know that when they are on a card you are getting your money’s worth. From their legendary Ladder Wars to their latest rivalry with Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas Mark and Jay Briscoe has become the best tag team in the only company that actually cares about tag team wrestling. Their style couldn’t make it in the WWE and I don’t think they really care one way or the other. They’d rather continue to tear it up in ROH being who they are than change for anyone. Rough around the edges doesn’t begin to describe their promo style, which usually features some tobacco chewing and a few non-pg words. They make it clear, sure they want to win, but hurting their opponents is first and foremost their goal. Sure, their promos are unorthodox but they are highly entertaining and in some cases full of heart. Their promo about Shelton and Haas getting more respect just because they were in the WWE was something of beauty, which will probably be the last time anyone describes something the Briscoes did as beautiful. Demboys have proven time and time again that if given the chance they’ll give you a show you won’t ever forget, unless you are their opponents then there is a good chance you’ll have been hit too hard in the head to remember the match.
Will Kurt Angle be a hall of Famer?
He should be, but I doubt it. Kurt would have been a first ballot HOF induction and a top 5 all-time WWE wrestler had he not let his ego get in the way. Kurt was Brett Hart but with a real viable personality. He could be funny or extremely intense and he could drag a great match out of anyone he was in the ring with. However, he allowed a negotiation tactic by Vince the old “you aren’t as good as you use to be so you are taking a pay-cut” move and instead of proving Vince wrong he left the WWE for TNA. Kurt had the option to go elsewhere and he took it; I don’t agree with the decision but it wasn’t my decision to make. He’s put on a number of amazing matches in TNA since his debut, but he left unfinished business in the WWE. A guy like Kurt shouldn’t have been happy being the best at the number two place in wrestling. He should have gone into eff you mode and put on 5-star matches in spite of Vince in the WWE. He should have forced Vince to recognize that he wasn’t over the hill and that his injuries weren’t a sign of him going out the door but just a few bad breaks. The reason I’m okay with The Briscoes being in ROH is that’s where they belong. They are untamed and couldn’t and wouldn’t want to make it in the corporate world of the WWE. Two chicken farming, ass kicking, foul mouthed have no shot in a PG world. I like and respect them for that. The reason I’m upset at Kurt for going to TNA is he belongs in the WWE. For Kurt that’s the top of his profession with the most exposure. Unfortunately egos are fragile things and Kurt’s was bruised enough to make him jump ship. Maybe he doesn’t care about the HOF and he got what he wanted out of his career. My guess is Kurt will probably look back and say “I should have stayed or gone back to the WWE”. Same with RVD to a lesser extent but Kurt is on a whole other special level than RVD who I think is overrated.
On a side note this Friday I will be attending a Northern Outlaw Wrestling show in Minot, ND. I’ll be getting a little drunk and yelling my throat raw. I recommend that no matter where you live I guarantee you are within a short drive of an Indy wresting show, you go. I’ve never had a bad experience and these guys need the support of true wrestling fans, go have a few beers, and cheer like crazy. Indy wrestling is a beautiful thing and it needs all the support and fans it can get.
Well that’s all for me this week, thanks again for reading and as always if you want to get a hold of me to call me an idiot, tell me I’m smart, or ask a question you can do so by following me on twitter @JaredGebhardt or via email firstname.lastname@example.org . You can also check out my entertainment column at filmonair.com.