The Wrestling Genius: You Can Never Count the Great Ones Out
Well I didn’t do too poorly with my picks; got a few wrong (thanks a lot Del Rio), but I was mostly right. I got a few emails asking on what I thought was the match of the night and a few of you really liked Cena vs. Miz…just kidding that was one of the worst main event matches ever seen and, to just me, it wasn’t The Miz’s fault. I watched WM at my buddy Tom’s house with his parents a few other people and let me tell you something not a one of us thought Cena was putting any real effort into the match. Watching The Miz have to try and carry Cena through a main event at WM was sickening. Cena didn’t look like he cared, and if he did well that just proves what everyone has been saying, and that is Cena is in the top 10 worst WWE champions of all time. If anyone tries to argue that, he is worth anything in the ring I can just put this match on and show them the multiple mistakes and no sells Cena had. Cena completely no showed the main event of WM and he should feel ashamed. About half way through the match I turned to my friend Tom and said, “No way Cena is winning this match, because if he was going to win he’d actually be trying”, he agreed with me. Trust me I don’t blindly hate Cena, I think he has some on the mic skills but when one of the pillars of your motto is “Respect” and you completely disrespect the main event at WM by no showing, well that is something that is just unforgiving. This is in no way an indictment on The Miz who completely showed up and tried his damndest to carry Cena’s corpse through the match. The Miz was dealt a terrible card by Cena, he did with what he could, and for that, I thank him. Only two good things came from this match, The Rock bottom heard around the world (which everyone saw coming but was still awesome to see), and the intro videos for both Cena and Miz. The use of DMX in the Cena intro was awesome and it got me a little revved up for the match. The Miz’s intro was even cooler; it showed us the odyssey that this young star has gone through to become WWE champion.
Okay there are only two candidates for match of the night and to me HHH vs. Undertaker beats Orton vs. Punk. I still don’t understand how anyone thinks Orton vs. Punk was better; it was a great match but in no way was it as entertaining and riveting as HHH vs. Undertaker. You know a match is going great and has everyone enthralled when your buddy’s mom practically jumps out of her seat during the match. (This actually happened when HHH hit Undertaker with the Tombstone Piledriver). Another thing that lets you know it’s going great is when your phone practically blows up with text messages that read (HOLY SH*T HOLY SH*T) and (This is awesome! This is awesome!). There were a few moments where Tom and I actually believed that HHH was going to beat The Undertaker. Call me gullible, call me stupid (a few of you already do), because I fell for the same thing last year with Shawn Michaels. Nothing in wrestling or sports entertainment compares to the drama of an Undertaker WM match. That guy just brings it in ways no one else can, he is practically falling apart, and he continues to just amaze all of us. When he did his patented leap over the top rope to the outside, the whole room practically erupted. We just didn’t think he still had it in him but he continues to deliver (like the opposite of John Cena, speaking of Cena and Undertaker I got a chuckle from the whole room when I pointed out that the Undertaker has 1 less finisher then Cena has moves. Don’t believe me? Taker has the Last Ride, Chokeslam, Tombstone Piledriver, and Hell’s Gate. Cena has 5-knuckle shuffle, Attitude Adjustment, Leg drop from top rope, a modified body slam, and the STF. That is it, so the final tally is Undertaker 4 finishers to John Cena’s 5 moves total, how sad is that?). HHH did his part perfectly, sold every move, made everything flow perfectly and his in ring psychology is still at the top of the business. Even down to him grabbing the sledgehammer seconds before tapping out. This match doesn’t beat Shawn vs. Taker at WM 26, but it beats Shawn vs. Taker WM 25, and I never thought I’d see Taker out do one of those two matches, but that’s why he’s The Phenom and I’m just a guy who writes a wrestling/sports entertainment column.
Now onto the big news of the week that was announced at the end of Raw, The Rock vs John Cena WM 28 in Miami, FL. Now I have no doubt they can get our interest repeaked by next year, I have no doubt that The Rock will tear the house down on the mic. Here’s my concern and it piggybacks the theme throughout this column, John Cena is terrible and getting worse, and The Rock hasn’t wrestled in what will be over seven years. How are we suppose to get excited for a match that will involve a guy who doesn’t sell moves, and a guy who will have more rust than the Titanic? Also, can we just go ahead and not call this “The Dream Match of the past decade”? I never in the past decade turned to a friend of mine and said, “Man I wonder what it would be like to see Cena vs. The Rock.” Not once, it never happened and I don’t know any wrestling/sport entertainment friends of mine that uttered those words. You want a dream match for my money; it would be Sting vs. Undertaker, or CM Punk vs. Undertaker at WM. Those are infinitely more entertaining from an in ring perspective than Cena vs. The Rock. Now just the fact that The Rock is going to step between those ropes and wrestle again makes me want to jump out of my seat in excitement. This is something I never thought I’d see again, it’d be like Michael Jordan dusting off his sneakers, signing a two-week contract to play for the Bulls in the NBA Finals. I have reservations about this match but I’m not going to lie, I’m a little excited and that just going to show how truly awesome The Rock is.
I enjoyed both the Hall of Fame ceremony (although having Drew Carey’s speech run on tv, instead of some of the others was a bit of a slap in the face but contractual obligations had to be met to appease the powerful Drew Carey), and Tough Enough. The Hall of Fame ceremony to me could easily be another half hour and I wouldn’t get bored. I love watching the old timers talk about their careers and what the business means to them. Slap another half hour on that thing it’d be so much more entertaining. Tough Enough wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. The first episode of many of these reality competition shows usually is a little more boring so I do have high hopes for the show going forward. I was glad to see Stone Cold put a few of them in their places and really lay into the bottom three. As for the chick that says she’s been wrestling for eleven years but couldn’t hit the ropes all I can say is good bye. No way are you sticking around. There are only a few people in the house I like so far in the ring, but unfortunately, they also happen to be the two biggest idiot, partying, Jersey Shore wannabe’s on the show so I’m conflicted on who to root for. I will say this about the show; Bill DeMott looks like he’s on the verge of killing everyone there, every second of every workout. I didn’t think anyone would trump Stone Cold in the “pissed off, I’ll show these kids who’s boss” category but Bill is giving him a run for his money. Trish appears to be in the “comforting boss who heaps praise onto the contestants” category. While Booker is in the “I’m clearly getting paid do this but that’s really the only reason I’m here” category. Like I said, I have high hopes for this show from an entertainment stand point, but I don’t know about future champions category. As for the chick who said (sorry I don’t remember her name nor do I care to know anyone’s name on the show until week 4) Melina vs. Alicia Foxx being the greatest match of all time. All I can say is Stone Cold should have stunned the chick right there and said, “Now that’s Divalicious, now get the Hell out of my ring”.
I’ll wrap this column up with something unwrestling related as I do from time to time. I recently finished Adam Carolla’s book in “Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks”, and all I’ve got to say is you need to read it. Its easily the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. It takes a lot for a book to have me laughing my ass off. My wife must have thought I was going insane because all she’d hear from the bathroom is random laughter. The book is hilarious and a little too truthful at times (a lot like how I just told you I read while on the John, then again I don’t know a man who doesn’t, so there). All I am saying is if you have a Kindle, or a Nook it’s only like $15 and its worth every penny, it’s also worth the $25 I dropped on the hard cover version the day before my wife got me the Kindle (thanks for the timing on that one sweetie, could have saved $10).
Thanks again for reading and if you want to get in contact with me you can do so by emailing me here: firstname.lastname@example.org or you can bug me via twitter @JaredGebhardt. As always, I try to get to every single email and tweet I get.
The Wrestling Genius: Jared Gebhardt
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