ThunderStruck: Impact Wrestling Genesis Analysis 01/16/14

Rockstar Spud is in the ring to start the show. He brings out Dixie. Dixie brings out Magnus and they all circle jer…I mean they talk about some rather boring stuff and Magnus gives Dixie one of his two belts(the shiny one, for those of you wondering). Dixie brings out all the people who helped Magnus defeat AJ Styles last week(Bromans, Bad Influence, etc). They bring out Ethan Carter III to his own music. More nonsense.

They’re interrupted by Sting. Sting has passion and it’s the only thing I’ve enjoyed about the entire show thus far. Sting brings out the faces of the TNA locker room and they all come down for a crazy brawl. The brawl becomes a twelve man tag to start our “free pay per view” now that a half hour of the show has gone by without any wrestling.

Samoa Joe, Gunner, Joseph Park, Eric Young, & ODB defeat The Bromans, Zema Ion, Bad Influence & Lei’D Tapa. This was the second most entertaining wrestling match on the show, and that IS NOT a good thing.

Austin Aries is with Velvet Sky backstage. Chris Sabin interrupts and wants to know what’s up. Perhaps he should talk to R-Truth. This is pointless as long as Velvet has her clothes on and Sabin is talking instead of wrestling(you can call me a pig all you want, but it’s not like Velvet is being treated with any more respect by TNA playing the role of the stupid girlfriend rather than showcasing her assetts in the ring. Oops, did it again).

Kurt Angle is looking for Dixie Carter. Anyone else find it funny the way Angle’s head changes sizes(and sometimes shape) depending on where he’s at in his steroid/diet cycle? That thing is huge right now!

Chris Sabin/Velvet Sky/Austin Aries in ring segment. I’m not explaining all this. Aries will be in the ring next week against Sabin with the title on the line and Velvet will be cage dancing at ringside. That’s what I took away from it, anyway.

Samuel Shaw beats down some backstage guy after he tells him to ease up on Christy Hemme, and then he smashes him with his own shoe. Deadly stuff here.

Bully Ray and Ken Anderson go one on one and try their damndest to save the show. The match is actually really good storytelling, and I liked the intensity. Bully wins the match with a low blow and a piledriver. 7/10 for a quality ECW-Style match. Best spot on the whole show.

Kurt Angle attacks Al Snow backstage for tricking him last week. Kurt wants to know who told Al to set him up. Al pleads with him and says he has a family and did what he was told. Kurt punches him to the floor and leaves. I’ve always felt sorry for Al Snow; he’s just so darn pitiful with his character.

Long Kurt Angle/Dixie in ring segment. Kurt says he will help Sting tonight and stop al interference. Dixie has Bobby Roode attack Angle and then has Angle dragged out by security. That cage match that was supposed to happen tonight with Angle and Roode has been pushed back to next week, just so you know. Looks like I tuned in for nothing.

Lei’D Tapa attacks Madison Rayne backstage. Rayne is supposed to take on Gail Kim later in the show. Makes sense at least.

Earl Hebner wants to ref the main event. Dixie tells him no. More Dixie screwjob crap that no one is enjoying.

Madison Rayne upsets Gail Kim and wins the Knockouts Title. You sometimes expect the beaten down underdog to rise up and pull off the miracle, and that’s what happened here. It was good booking, but the wrestling in the match was somewhat limited because of Rayne selling the injury. Not a bad segment, but not a “good” match.

Sting is interviewed by Jeremy Borash backstage. Sting tells his friends not to get in the way tonight.

Dixie Carter welcomes the American Wolves(she calls them the wolves) to TNA. She tells them they’ll have a tryout match next week, but they inform her that they already have a contract with TNA. It was signed by the new TNA investor. Dixie is puzzled about the whole thing. Looks like a new storyline there for someone to come in and piss Dixie off. I wonder who is left for them to use…Cornette, Rhodes, Foley, Jarrett…it’s all been done. Maybe Nash needs more money.

EC III faces Sting in our main event. Rockstar Spud is the ref and tries to stop Sting from winning over and over. Sting eventually takes him out and forces him to count. Magnus stops the pin and reveals a ref shirt of his own. EC III defeats Sting with help from Magnus. What a joke. Not much of a match at all with all the interruptions. Wasn’t this supposed to be the moment where Sting makes EC III a star?

Sting wants a World Title match against Magnus next week. Magnus reminds Sting that he can’t have any title shots per Bobby Roode at Slammiversary in 2012. Good point. Sting says he’ll do anything for the match. Roode tells Sting to put his TNA contract on the line in their match next week and he’ll give him the title shot. It’s on.

So we had four matches. One was great, one was solid, impromptu and confusing, one was story filled and short, and the other was a complete joke. Four matches in a two hour show that was supposed to be a “free pay per view” quality program. Time management was horrible for the matches compared to the talking, and that’s just not right. Time management aside, the matches were not booked properly. I give the entire show a generous 2/10 for that Anderson/Bully match delivering the goods.

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