ThunderStruck: WWE Raw Analysis 12/17/12

Rey Mysterio defeats Damien Sandow with the 619 and splash from the top rope.

^This one had the potential to be a very exciting opening match, and instead we were shorted 80% of what we should have received. I like the Rhodes Scholars/Masks rivalry continuing, but you have to give us more than that from two guys with as much talent as Mysterio and Sandow.

Booker T comes out to give the “tell me I did not just see that” slammy award. Boogeyman comes out and does his act. Brad Maddox comes out thinking he’s won the award, but Booker announces Kofi Kingston’s handstand at the Rumble as the winner.

^Nice to see the Boogeyman, and nice to see Kofi get the win for that awesome handstand.

Kaitlyn defeats Eve in a short, non-title match.

^So now Kaitlyn gets to the challenge for the title again and fail? I was hoping we might get a variety of Divas soon, and instead we get the same old squash. If it was this easy for Kaitlyn this time around, why has it been so difficult every time the title is on the line?

The New Age Outlaws give the “comeback of the year award” to Jerry Lawler.

^The Outlaws will always be one of my favorite tag teams, and this was a nice classy moment for the show. Fantastic award.

Kofi Kingston defeats Tensai in a short match with trouble in paradise. Wade Barrett attacks Kofi after the match.

^Tensai is awful, and Kofi made this match almost decent. It’s nice to see Kofi’s reign mean something as it continues into 2013. I expect Barrett will have the gold by the Rumble though.

Vickie comes out to present the “kiss of the year” award. The options are all the guys AJ has kissed. AJ wins the award for kissing Cena. Vickie and AJ argue but Dolph Ziggler comes out and gets in the middle. AJ jumps into his arms and makes out with him as Vickie is furious.

^Nothing about this was unexpected. Does Vickie become a face now or does Ziggler? This whole storyline is a mess and isn’t really all that interesting to me.

Khali defeats David Otunga with a chop to the head.

^This was a waste of time. Yeah, I’m probably sounding pretty pessimistic as the show goes on, but there’s a good reason for it.

Ric Flair returns to WWE and gives the “superstar of the year” award to John Cena. Cena comes out and says the award is for Flair. CM Punk comes out and has heated words with Flair. Punk and Flair go at it in the ring and Flair hits Punk and the eye before locking a figure four on Paul Heyman. Flair talks after the confrontation and the Shield comes down from the crowd. They beat on him until Team Hell No makes the save with Ryback. They celebrate with Flair after. Kane, Dbry, Flair, and Ron Simmons share a moment backstage with their catchphrases.

^Nice to see the Nature Boy present a slammy, but not so nice to see him involved with all sorts of performers and try to be the center of attention. It’s time for Flair to take on nothing more than a managerial role, if that.

Brodus Clay squashes JTG.

^Completely pointless match with two guys that get used for superstars and opening matches at live events. What was the point of putting this on here?

Santino and Tensai award the Rock with the “lol moment of the year.” Rock is not here tonight to accept the award so Santino says it’s his. Dbry comes out yelling no and Kane has to carry him away.

^I completely missed the point of this whole thing, but the point that I want to make here is the simple fact that the Rock was too buy to appear on Monday Night Raw or even film a segment for the big screen.

Cody Rhodes defeats Sin Cara using crossrhodes.

^This match was fun, but it was short just like the opening match. I like the streak that Cody Rhodes is now on, but I’m curious what WWE plans to do with both him and Sandow in the coming year.

Zack Ryder and Layla award the “trending hashtag of the year” to Ryback for feed me more. They bring the award to him in the back.

^This was entirely pointless as well. I’ve never been a fan of the slammy awards, but this one feels like the absolute worst show yet.

Big Show comes out with his massive chair and cuts a promo. Sheamus comes out and ends up attacking him. Ziggler comes down to cash in his briefcase but Cena attacks him before he can cash in.

^The setup here was very obvious, and I think we were all looking forward to the possible cash in by Ziggler. I’m a bit disappointed that it didn’t happen here, but something tells me it may happen on the live Smackdown tomorrow night. I don’t necessarily understand Cena’s attack on Ziggler when it was AJ who cost him the match at TLC.

Ziggler finds Vickie backstage and she books herself and Cena in a match against AJ and Ziggler tonight.

^This is totally backwards, and I never want to see Vickie Guerrero in an outfit like the one she is wearing tonight.

Alberto Del Rio, the Miz, and Tommy Dreamer defeat the 3MB.

^This was nostalgic and fun, but it was too much of a copy of TLC with the Brawler. Can’t we come up with something a bit more creative? How about Del Rio against one member of the 3MB and Miz making the save during a beatdown or having Dreamer do a run in if it were a three on two match.

Sheamus awards Ryback with newcomer of the year. Ryback quotes Owen Hart and says “enough is enough, and it’s time for a change.”

^If the votes were real, Sandow or Cesaro would’ve won. Ryback quoting Owen was awesome, and I honestly believe it has something to do with parts of the Martha Hart lawsuit against WWE finally being thrown out of court. That was the best thing Ryback has said all year.

Ryback defeats Antonio Cesaro by countout when Cesaro walks away from their match.

^This was fun to watch for the few minutes that we had it, but it was over before it really started. Ryback and Cesaro could probably have quite the fun brawl if it were allowed to actually take place on a bigger stage.

Gene Okerlund, Ricky Steamboat, and Jim Ross award “match of the year” to Undertaker and Triple H. Triple H comes out and tells everyone that we haven’t seen the last of the Undertaker.

^This was intriguing, but I think most of us already suspected that Taker would have more appearances in WWE. It was nice to see Triple H for a short segment.

Tommy Dreamer is shown being beaten down by the Shield backstage.

^Anyone else feel like they were watching a clip from the new world order storyline? Between the attack on Orton and this attack on Dreamer, I feel like we’re going to start getting the same repetitive scenes from the group. It’s a good thing they possess a boat load of talent in the ring or they might become boring rather quickly.

AJ comes to the ring and has a ladder setup. She wants to tell us why she turned on Cena last night, but Vickie comes out and interrupts her. Ziggler comes out and so does Cena for the main event. AJ brings out Big E Langston from NXT during the main event and he attacks Cena. Langston stands over Cena with AJ skipping around them to close the show.

^So, we found Cena’s next rivalry with Langston making his way up the roster. My confusion for Langston being on the roster right now is the fact that he just won the NXT Championship on the tapings that are six plus weeks away. He will probably lose the title rather quickly. I’ve never been a huge fan of Langston, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens with his wrestling ability. As for Ziggler, I’m now convinced more than ever that he’ll be the World Heavyweight Champion in the next few weeks.

Well, the slammy awards were pointless, boring, and obviously fixed. What’s the point of WWE polling their fans if they aren’t going to use the data and let the people have what they want? As for the matches, they were all too short and a lot of them were entirely pointless. Storyline progression was minimal and nothing stood out as average. This show just wasn’t good. I’ll have a Smackdown analysis after the live show. Until next time, you’ve been ThunderStruck! – add me!