– Tonight’s WWE Capitol Punishment pay-per-view opens up with a nice video package for the R-Truth vs. John Cena main event. We go to the arena and we’re live from Washington, DC.
WWE United States Title Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston
Out first comes the WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston to kick off the show. Vickie Guerrero escorts Dolph Ziggler to the ring next and we’re ready to go.
The bell rings and they go at it. Lots of back and forth action to start. They eventually go to the corner. Kofi catapults Dolph out. He goes for Trouble in Paradise but Dolph ducks and turns it around. Dolph with a big leg drop and a 2 count. More back and forth. Dolph hits a dropkick and another 2 count. Dolph applies a submission from behind. Kofi breaks out and rolls Dolph up for 2.
More counters, Kofi with another 2 count. Dolph applies a sleeper hold but Kofi breaks out of it. Dolph goes for a splash in the corner but Kofi moves. Lots of back and forth action. Kofi with a big axe handle from the top for a 2 count. Kofi misses Trouble in Paradise. Dolph catches him for a powerbomb but Kofi hits SOS. Dolph kicks out at 2.
More pin attempts from both men. Dolph goes for Zig Zag but misses. Kofi with a big leap and another 2 count. Kofi goes up top but Dolph meets him and knocks him down. Dolph climbs up top and goes for a superplex but Kofi drops him on his face. Kofi with a high crossbody and another 2 count. Dolph blocks SOS again and Dolph applies a sleeper. Kofi blocks it and slams Kofi into the corner. Kofi misses Trouble in Paradise again. Dolph misses Zig Zag and distracts the referee. Vickie interferes and attacks Kofi. Dolph takes advantage and puts the sleeper hold on tight on the mat. Kofi passes out while in the sleeper to end the match, after Dolph used the bottom rope for leverage.
Winner and New WWE United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler
– A limousine pulls up backstage and out steps R-Truth with the WWE Title. He says the champion is in the house. Truth says he’s got a party to go to. He runs into Eve Torres and invites her. She says she doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He says she’s right, she doesn’t know. He says nobody knows who he is anymore. Truth goes on to Eve before walking off.
– We see The Miz backstage with Todd Grisham. Grisham says the critics are asking if he has what it takes to beat Alex Riley. Miz says really? Is this how far his career has sunk in the last month? Miz says he is a former WWE Champion and is sick of hearing about Alex Riley. Miz says Riley was only good for carrying his briefcase. Miz puts Riley down some more and says he can go back to being someone’s bag carrier after tonight. Miz says he’s going to show the world tonight the fine line between luck and awesome.
– We get a video package for The Miz vs. Alex Riley.
The Miz vs. Alex Riley
We go to the ring and out first comes The Miz. Alex Riley, introduced from Washington, DC, is out next to a nice reaction from the crowd. Miz has his briefcase with him tonight. Miz taunts Riley before the match with the briefcase. Riley attacks and the bell rings. Riley takes it to the corner but Miz fights out and rolls to the floor.
Riley chases Miz around the ring but gets taken down when they re-enter. Miz works Riley over with rights, kicks and a high knee. Miz with a running kick to the face. Miz stomps away now but takes his time. Riley gets up and fires back. Miz kicks him to the mat and hits a big DDT for a 2 count. Miz with knees to Riley’s back now. Miz with another running kick to the face. Miz continues the offense and knocks Riley down when he tries to get up.
Riley rams Miz back in the corner but gets sent out to the floor. Miz comes outside and hits Riley with another kick to the face. Miz brings it back in the ring but keeps Riley on the apron and punches him, talking crap. Miz with a running knee to the face. Miz rolls Riley over for another 2 count. Riley tries to make a comeback again but Miz stops it. Miz applies a sleeper hold and takes Riley down to the mat with it.
More offense from Miz, another DDT and a 2 count. Miz with a big clothesline in the corner now. Miz climbs to the top and comes down with a double ax handle for a 2 count. Miz takes Riley to the corner and then ties him up in a tree of woe. Miz stomps away at Riley as he’s hung upside down in the corner. Miz goes for a baseball slide into Riley’s face but Riley pulls himself free and Miz hits the ringpost. Riley with an elbow and a spear now. Riley with several right hands before taking Miz to the corners. Riley throws Miz into the ringpost and hits a big spinebuster for a 2 count.
Miz tosses Riley to the floor. Riley comes back in with a big right hand and another 2 count. Miz rolls to the floor and Riley follows him. Riley slams Miz into the fan barrier, the ring apron and then the announcer’s table. Michael Cole runs his mouth to Riley and eventually distracts him. Riley grabs Cole by his tie and pulls him over the annoucner’s table and to the floor. Miz runs over and kicks Riley in the gut and throws him back in the ring. Miz brings the briefcase in the ring but the referee stops him from using it. Riley takes advantage and drops Miz with a big DDT for the pin and the win.
Winner: Alex Riley
– We go backstage with a fake Barack Obama and his Secret Service. Sgt. Slaughter walks up and Obama cracks a joke on Obamacare. Vickie Guerrero walks up and says she’s so happy that Dolph is the new US Champion that she wants to sing. Vickie starts singing Happy Father’s Day to the fake Obama and blows him a kiss, trying to be Marilyn Monroe. Obama has the Secret Service carry Vickie off as she’s still singing. Slaughter thanks Obama.
– We get a video with highlights from the Alberto Del Rio and Big Show feud.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
We go to the arena and in comes Alberto Del Rio driving a Mercedes Benz. As Del Rio is making his way to the ring, Big Show attacks him from behind and starts beating him up. Show brings Del Rio in the ring but Del Rio rolls back out. Show with big chops on the floor. The bell still hasn’t rang as Show throws Del Rio hard into the barrier. Show brings Del Rio back in the ring. As Show is entering, Mark Henry attacks Big Show from behind. Henry beats Show down and throws him over the announcer’s table. Henry manages to pick Show up and hits the World’s Strongest Slam through an announcer’s table. Del Rio is in the ring, demanding that the referee starts the match. Henry storms back over and slams Show’s injured knee hard into the table. Show rolls around in pain as the referee checks on him. The referee enters the ring and talks with Del Rio as we go to replays.
Big Show starts to get up. The referee starts the count but the bell still never rang. Big Show rolls into the ring at the 8 count but is down on one knee. Show finally stands up and is ready to fight. The bell rings and here we go. Del Rio attacks and Show throws him into the corner. Show with huge chops. Show grabs Del Rio for a chokeslam. Del Rio fights out and kicks Show’s leg. Del Rio with more kicks and offense until he gets sent out to the floor.
Del Rio drops Show’s neck over the ropes and goes to the top rope. Del Rio leaps off but Show grabs him for a chokeslam. Del Rio fights out and goes for the armbreaker but Show hits him with a huge back drop. Show walks towards Del Rio now as Del Rio begs him to back off. Del Rio kicks Show’s leg out from under him and applies a submission hold on the leg.
The hold is finally broken but Show is hurt. The referee asks him if he can continue. Show keeps trying to stand up but he can’t. The referee calls for the bell and it’s announced that Del Rio wins due to Show not being able to compete.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
– After the match, Del Rio celebrates as Show lays in pain and we go to replays. Del Rio continues the celebration as trainers help Big Show walk to the back.
– Another backstage segment with R-Truth. He’s telling a photographer to go ahead and do the photos now because he will be tired after tonight’s title match. And that’s when my feed goes out and comes back to a WCW Nitro DVD commercial.
– Josh Matthews is backstage with WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett. Barrett takes the mic and says he will handle this. Barrett starts walking to the ring from backstage and is talking about being in our nation’s Capitol and how we need a Queen. Barrett brings up the recent Weiner scandal, the US education system and the national debt. Barrett says in 20 years, everyone in this building will be speaking Chinese. Barrett says America looks good from the outside, but when you get closer you see it’s nothing but a hollow shell. Much like Ezekiel Jackson, he says. Barrett calls him pathetic. Barrett goes on and on before we get the bell.
WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett is formally introduced and gets boo’d. Ezekiel Jackson’s music hits next and out comes the challenger.
The bell rings and they lock up to USA chants. They go at it and break. Barrett comes back with right hands. Zeke goes for the torture rack but Barrett slides out and goes to the floor. Barrett comes back in and misses a clothesline. Zeke goes to work on him with rights in the corner and beats him down. Barrett dodges a splash in the corner but Zeke knocks him to the mat anyway for a 2 count.
Barrett with a big kick in the corner and a pin attempt. Zeke tries to fight back but Barrett catches him with a big sideslam for another 2 count. Barrett with a headlock now. Zeke fights out with elbows but Zeke stops him with a knee. A “We want Ryder” chant breaks out in the crowd. Barrett tries to roll-up Zeke and finally gets him down for a 2 count. Zeke runs into a big back kick from Barrett. Barrett with a pumphandle slam and another 2 count. Barrett with a bunch of kicks in the corner now and right hands. Barrett runs into an elbow from Zeke. Zeke comes back with clotheslines and splashes, knocking Barrett down. Zeke with a big running splash in the corner.
Barrett misses a splash in the corner now. Zeke fights back and goes for his series of bodyslams but Barrett counters. Barrett hits Zeke with Wasteland but Zeke kicks out at 2. Barrett tries a running kick but Zeke catches him. Zeke starts hitting the series of bodyslams and puts Barrett in the torture rack. Barrett taps out and Zeke wins the match.
Winner and New WWE Intercontinental Champion: Ezekiel Jackson
– After Zeke celebrates his victory, Jerry Lawler comes in the ring to ask him how it feels to win. Zeke says it’s awesome and the greatest accomplishment of his life. Zeke talks about domination and continues the celebration.
– We go backstage and see Santino Marella, Beth Phoenix and Kelly Kelly run into the fake Obama and his posse. Santino asks Obama if he wants to see how the Cobra is done. Santino shows him the motions and when he finishes, the Secret Service tackle him and rush Obama off to safety.
– Josh Matthews is backstage with CM Punk. Punks talks about how bad Washington, DC is. He says any performer or “sports entertainer”, as he mocks the term, who says they are a hero is lying to you. Punk says he, like Rey Mysterio and everyone else, just wants to get rich. Punk says after he beats Mysterio tonight in Washington, DC, he is going to do the most honest thing the WWE Universe has ever seen.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
We go to the ring and out first comes Rey Mysterio to a nice reaction from the crowd. Out next comes CM Punk, who stares Mysterio down the whole way to the ring.
The bell rings and they go at it after some taunting from Punk. Lots of back and forth action. Punk keeps an offense going and gets a pair of 2 counts. Punk with a back kick before working on Rey’s arm. Rey fights out but Punk takes him down for a 2 count. Rey dropkicks Punk into position for 619. Punk drops off the ropes but Rey kicks him to the floor instead of 619. Rey leaps onto Punk’s shoulders on the floor but Punk drops Rey’s face onto the fan barrier.
Punk brings Rey back in the ring for another 2 count. Punk goes back to stomping on Rey and keeping the offense going. Punk puts Rey in a surfboard maneuver and tries to make him tap. Rey turns it over and drops down on Punk. Before Rey can get some offense, Punk stomps and goes back to work on him for another 2 count. Punk with a body scissors now. Punk hits a tilt-a-whirl slam on Rey and goes back to the scissors. Rey fights out finally and drops Punk for 619 again. Rey goes for it but Punk takes him out with a counter for another 2 count.
Punk applies an abdominal stretch now until Rey fights out. Punk charges in the corner but Rey drops him face first into the turnbuckle. Rey goes up top but Punk knocks him down and he gets hung upside down in the corner. Punk takes advantage and kicks Rey in the face. Punk with two headbutts to the gut. Rey comes off the ropes and kicks Punk in the face and then sends him flying to the floor. Rey with a moonsault from the apron to the floor and both are down now. Rey brings it back in the ring and goes to the top. Rey with a diving headbutt for a 2 count.
More back and forth action. They trade kicks and kick attempts. Rey kicks Punk in the head and he goes down for a 2 count. They go back to the top and Punk brings Rey to the mat with a big back body drop. Punk with a 2 count. Punk with a big running knee in the corner. Punk charges again but Rey moves and he hits the ring post. More back and forth with some 619. Rey goes to the top for the big splash but Punk puts his knees up. Punk fires away with knees to the head on Rey. Punk goes for the GTS and holds it a minute while smiling. Rey blocks GTS and takes Punk down with a hurricanrana for a 2 count. Punk connects and drops Rey with a big kick this time for a 2 count.
Punk goes for GTS again but Rey counters again and puts him into position for 619. Punk blocks 619 and catches Rey on his shoulders. Punk nails GTS for the pin and the win.
Winner: CM Punk
– After the match, Punk heads to the back and doesn’t do that honest thing he was talking about earlier.
– We get a video package for tonight’s World Heavyweight Title Match.
World Heavyweight Title Match: Christian vs. Randy Orton
We go to the ring and out first comes the World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton to a nice reaction from the crowd. Christian is out next, playing the heel. We get formal introductions from Tony Chimel and we’re ready to go.
The bell rings and they go right at it. Orton gets Christian down and starts stomping. Christian turns things around and knocks Orton down to one knee with rights. Orton misses a clothesline but hits a Thesz Press and unloads with right hands. Orton with a headlock now. Orton with a shoulder block now and a 2 count. Orton goes back to the headlock, keeping in control.
They run the ropes and Orton with a shoulder tackle and another 2 count. Christian fights out of another headlock and goes to the second rope. Christian goes for an elbow from the second rope but Orton dodges it. Christian tosses Orton through the ropes and to the floor now. Christian runs and dropkicks Orton through the ropes, and down he goes. Christian goes for a crossbody over the top rope but Orton moves and he hits the floor. Orton with a clothesline on the floor before bringing it back in the ring for a 2 count. Orton fires away on Christian before sending him back outside. Orton follows and works him over. Orton goes for a DDT off the steel steps but Christian counters and sends Orton head first into the steps.
Christian rolls Orton back into the ring for a 2 count. Christian stomps on Orton and stands on him in the corner. Christian with a reverse neckbreaker for another 2 count. Orton comes back with a 2 count of his own until Christian comes right back and drops Orton on his head with a spinebuster for a 2 count. The announcers play up Orton’s recent concussion. Orton counters Christian and whips him hard into the corner. Orton with a big back drop and repeated forearm shots to the chest. Christian counters and goes for the inverted DDT. Orton counters and comes back with clotheslines and a scoop slam.
Orton with an uppercut in the corner and a belly to belly suplex for a 2 count. Orton tries for the second-rope DDT but Christian hits him with a right hand. They go back and forth by the apron before going to the top rope. Orton hits a superplex on Christian but only gets a 2 count. More offense by Orton. Christian grabs him for the Killswitch but Orton blocks it. Orton goes for the RKO but it’s blocked. They leave the ring and come back in. Christian goes to the second rope but Orton pulls him down. Orton hits Christian with the second rope DDT. Orton hits the mat and gets ready to strike. Orton goes for the RKO but Christian counters with an inverted DDT for a 2 count.
Christian readies for a spear. Orton leaps over him and goes for an RKO but Christian blocks it. Christian nails the spear this time but only gets a 2 count. Christian with a dropkick. Orton charges in the corner but Christian kicks him in the head. Christian comes off the top rope but Orton goes under him. Christian walks into an RKO for the pin and the win for Orton.
Winner: Randy Orton
– After the match, Orton celebrates as Christian argues with the referee about the pin being good. Christian says he had his foot under the ropes. Orton walks over and lays Christian out with a belt shot to the head. Orton goes back to the corner to pose for the fans.
– We go to the ring and out comes The Bella Twins with Keith Stone, the guy from the Keystone beer commercials. It looks like they just have a seat at ringside.
– We go to a promo video for tonight’s WWE Title Match.
Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
We go to the ring and out comes Jack Swagger for a bonus match that wasn’t announced before. Out next comes his opponent Evan Bourne. They lock up and go at it. Another chant for Zack Ryder breaks out. Swagger clams Bourne back to the mat and keeps in control. Swagger keeps Bourne on the mat.
Swagger keeps in control until Bourne takes him down with a head scissors. Bourne tries to mount an offense but Swagger stops it and slams him on his shoulder for a 2 count. Swagger drops elbows into Bourne’s ribs and covers him for another 2 count. Swagger with a chinlock and a knee in Bourne’s back, still keeping in control. We see Keith Stone and the Bellas sitting at ringside. Swagger does a push-up over Bourne and poses.
Swagger with a big back drop and another 2 count. Swagger takes Bourne to the corner and nails him with forearm shots to the back now. Swagger whips Bourne hard into the corner and he goes down. Swagger hits the big Vader splash from the second rope but only gets a 2 count. Swagger puts the boot to Bourne’s chest and continues the beatdown.
Bourne starts to make a comeback but Swagger stops him. Swagger misses the second rope splash and Bourne comes back again. Bourne goes up top but has to come back down. Swagger hits a big boot to the face out of nowhere but can’t get the pin. Bourne ends up on the top rope and they go at it before coming down. Bourne hits a big DDT for a 2 count. Bourne with two big kicks to the head. Bourne goes up top for Air Bourne but Swagger moves. Bourne lands on his feet. Swagger goes for the gutwrench powerbomb but Bourne slides out. Bourne goes for a roll up but Swagger goes for the ankle lock. Bourne counters it with another roll up for the win.
Winner: Evan Bourne
– We go to the stage and the fake Barack Obama comes out to a podium. He tells us thank you about twenty times and says he has some great WWE memories. Obama says every Monday night when he tells people he’s working on the budget, he’s up in his office watching RAW. He says if he were RAW General Manager, we would see a lot more Jim Ross and less Michael Cole. Obama wishes good luck to John Cena and the crowd boo’s. He wishes good luck to R-Truth and that seems to get a better reaction. He goes on and thanks everyone again before walking off. Booker T speaks up and stops Obama from leaving. Booker invites Obama down to the ring.
Booker says it’s a pleasure to meet Obama and talks about him making history by being the first black President and winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Booker T asks him if he can do the spin-a-rooni however. Booker’s music hits and he shows the fake Obama how it’s done. Booker asks us if we want to see the Barack-O-rooni. The music hits and Obama starts dancing before hitting a weak-a-rooni to end the segment.
– We get another promo video for tonight’s pay-per-view.
WWE Title Match: R-Truth vs. John Cena
We go to the ring and out first comes R-Truth, still in possession of the WWE Title belt. John Cena’s music is on next and here’s his entrance. We get formal ring introductions before the bell.
The bell rings and they finally lock up. Truth takes Cena down first as the crowd does dueling chants. They square up again and go to lock up. Truth throws a kick but Cena grabs his leg and throws him to the mat. Truth rolls to the floor and starts talking to himself. Truth comes back in and hits Cena in the face, taking it to the corner and working him over. They go back and forth but Truth rolls back out to the floor when Cena starts to get on a roll.
Truth comes in and Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Truth blocks it and suplexes Cena on his face. Truth takes it to the corner and works Cena over but Cena comes out fighting. Truth with a side kick to the face for a 2 count. Truth with more offense and another 2 count. Truth with a chinlock now. Cena fights to his feet and out of the hold. Cena whips Truth into the ropes but Truth comes back with a corkscrew elbow, good for a 2 count. Truth mocks Cena and continues the assault. Truth fights Cena on the apron. Cena drops him over the ropes and comes back in the ring but runs into a clothesline. Truth with a 2 count.
Truth takes Cena to the mat and puts on the body scissors. More dueling chants from the crowd. Cena rolls out of it and goes for the STF but Truth makes it to the ropes. Truth gets up and drops Cena with a clothesline for another 2 count. Truth with a suplex and yet another 2 count. Cena starts to make his comeback and hits the usual moves followed by the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Truth counters it and drops Cena but can’t get the pin. Truth misses a big forearm in the corner and Cena counters with a drop toe hold. Cena locks the STF but Truth makes it to the ropes and breaks the hold.
Truth comes back and hits the scissor kick but still can’t get the win. Truth goes up top and comes down with a crossbody but Cena rolls through and stands up with Truth. Truth slides out again and lays Cena out. Cena still manages to kick out at 2 and roll out to the floor to regroup. Truth goes to ringside and starts drinking a Cena fans drink. The fan throws drink in Truth’s face. Cena takes advantage, brings Truth in the ring and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the win.
Winner: John Cena
– After the match, Cena goes to ringside and picks the fan up to bring him in the ring. Cena raises the WWE Title and the little boys hand before giving him a thumbs up and helping him back out of the ring. Cena goes to ringside and poses with some troops. Capitol Punishment goes off the air with Cena saluting the camera.