WWE Raw Results – May 16th, 2011
We begin with John Cena making his way to the ring. Before Cena can speak, he is interrupted by the man who is a SMACKDOWN SUPERSTAR, Alex Riley. Riley says that he has heard it all before. Hustle, Loyalty, Respect, and I am going to make the Miz say I Quit on Sunday.
Alex has a video package for John Cena to watch. It is a lot of stuff from when Miz was the champion and he was destroying John Cena.
Riley introduces the Miz and he makes his way to the ring while Michael Cole marks out for Miz.
Riley says that from the beginning, everyone has underestimated the Miz. From his start on Tough Enough to the main event of Wrestlemania 27, they said he didn’t have what it took and that he should have quit. They also said that the Spurs would make it out of the first round but we know what happens.
On Sunday, in an I Quit Match . . . then we pause because the fans tell Riley that he sucks.
The Miz will prove everyone wrong again because the Miz will never utter the words ‘I Quit’
Cena tells Riley says that he is as stupid as he is useless. If you want to talk about things the Miz would never say. I think I will pass on tickets to the Jonas Brothers. Miz wouldn’t say I don’t want to play with My Little Pony any more. He wouldn’t say I’m the Miz and I have testicles. That is a shame because you need a set.
Cena says that Miz has gone from laughing stock to champion and he respects that. There is a reason why he chose an I Quit Match and it is because when you look past the fancy suits and loudmouth bravado and he can look into Miz’s eyes and see fear. It is the same fear that he sees in his eyes right now. How bad will I get hurt or will I say I Quit before I get hurt.
After Over the Limit, he won’t be saying I’m the Miz and I’m Awesome. He will be saying I’m the Miz . . . and I Quit.
The ding dongs go off and Michael Cole has something to say. Since he allowed John Cena to make the stipulation for Over the Limit, as long as Miz and Riley are not involved, he gets to pick the type of match and opponent for John Cena tonight.
Miz thinks about it and he tells John that he doesn’t know who the opponent is or what the stipulation is, there is one thing that is for sure. It is going to be awesome.
We go to commercial.
We see highlights of what happened last week when Big Show attacked CM Punk at ringside during Mason Ryan’s match with Kane.
Match Number One: Kofi Kingston versus CM Punk with Michael McGillicutty, David Otunga, and Mason ‘Not-tista’ Ryan in a Non Title Match
They lock up and Punk with a side head lock but Kofi with elbows. Punk with a shoulder tackle but Kofi with a flying forearm and a drop kick that sends Punk to the floor. Nexus comes towards the ring but Punk tells them to back up. Kofi with a baseball slide and then he gets a near fall. Punk drops Kofi on the top rope and then he connects with a clothesline to the back of the head.
Punk with elbows to Kofi’s chest and he gets a near fall. Punk with a cravate. Punk with a snap mare and knee drop for a near fall. Punk goes to the top turnbuckle but Kofi recovers and hits a drop kick and Punk falls to the ring.
Kofi goes up top and he hits a cross body and gets a near fall. Kofi with a Superman punch and it is time for the Boom Drop after a lap or two around the ring. Kofi hits the Boom Drop and then Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise but Punk ducks. Punk gets Kofi up for a Go To Sleep but Kofi counters with a rollup for a near fall.
Kofi leaps into the corner but Punk moves and Kofi hits the turnbuckles. Punk hits Go To Sleep and he gets the three count.
Winner: CM Punk
After the match, Punk sits in front of his wall of black shirts and he says that what we just saw was leadership by example. It is just step one. He says that he heard all of the rumors that Nexus isn’t formidable. There is no more Mr. Nice Punk and he is going to do things his way. He will make sure that everyone in Nexus is the most dominant force that the WWE Universe has ever seen.
Miz is talking to Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler in the back.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: Kharma attacking Eve Torres while the Bellas ran away.
Match Number Two: Kelly Kelly versus Brie Bella with Nikki Bella in a Non Title Match
They lock up and Brie with a knee and she works on the arm. Kelly with a forearm and then Kelly uses the ropes to flip out of the hold. Kelly with a Thesz Press and she slams Brie’s head into the mat. Brie with a kick and she sends Kelly into the ropes and chokes her. Nikki drops Kelly on the ropes when the referee was not looking and Brie gets a near fall.
Brie with an arm bar and chin lock and then she sends Kelly to the mat. Brie misses a leg drop and Kelly spanks Brie. Kelly hits the spinning head scissors take down and then she hits her other moves with a handspring back splash and bulldog for a near fall.
Brie with a knee but Kelly with a rollup for the three count.
Winner: Kelly Kelly
After the match, The Bellas attack Kelly and they hit the X Factor on Kelly.
Kharma’s music plays and the Bellas stand in the ring this week after they were smart enough to leave the ring last week.
She makes her way to the ring and one of the Bellas makes a major mistake by attacking Kharma from behind. Kharma sends her to the mat and then the other one comes off the turnbuckles and Kharma catches her and slams her. It is time for an Implant Buster, but I don’t think we are going to see any twin magic.
Kharma goes over to Kelly Kelly and she picks Kelly up and she thwacks Kelly in the forehead before she leaves.
Miz is with his former tag team partner, the Big Show in the back and we have no idea what they are talking about.
We go to commercial.
We are back and we see the Alamo because we are in San Antonio.
Now we take a look at That’s What I Am because it comes out on DVD tomorrow.
We see footage from last week when he put the cherry on the disappointment sundae for Rey Mysterio last week after not getting the number one contender spot.
Rey says hola to the people of San Antonio and he says that he came out here to speak the truth. Last week R Truth wasn’t chosen to be in the main event, but he decided to jump him after the main event. Rey says that he has been passed over before, but he never felt like that before. Rey says that he doesn’t blame his friends or other people for his own problems. He doesn’t flip out when he doesn’t get his way. He likes to call out the guy who jumped him and then handle his business like a man. Rey wants R Truth to make his way to the ring and face him right now exactly why Truth didn’t belong in that or any main event on Raw.
Truth does not come out and we go to commercial.
We are back and Rey is still standing in the ring and I don’t know if he moved during the commercial break.
Ricardo Rodriguez comes out and he introduces Alberto Del Rio who drives into the building and he is dressed for a match.
Alberto tells us who he is . . . but we already know that, especially the little Chihuahua in the ring. He says that Rey got beat up last week, not him. Rey is the reason why Alberto is not facing John Cena for the WWE Title. He does not deserve to be on the same show as him. Alberto says that he is pure Latino, not like the people of San Antonio.
Alberto enters the ring and he tells Rey and the fans that this country begged him to come here. They gave him everything to come here, unlike Rey’s people. They came to this country like a bunch of ratas.
Rey tells Alberto that he is not going to let Alberto disrespect all of his people. Rey says something in Spanish and then he tells Alberto that he is proud to be a Chicano and an American. Rey says that he has no problem shutting up Alberto’s mouth if Truth doesn’t
Match Number Three: Rey Mysterio versus Alberto Del Rio in an If it didn’t happen on Raw, it doesn’t matter if this was a feud on Smackdown Match
Alberto with kicks to Rey but Rey with kicks to Alberto. Alberto floats over on an Irish whip but Rey with a head scissors. Alberto sends Rey into the turnbuckles. Alberto puts Rey on top and Alberto with a single arm breaker from the turnbuckles as we go to commercial. Alberto with a drop kick to Rey’s shoulder as we go to commercial.
We are back and Del Rio with an arm bar but Rey with kicks to Del Rio. Del Rio runs into a boot from Rey. Rey with a wheelbarrow into a bulldog but Alberto with a drop kick and he gets a near fall. Del Rio punches and kicks Rey and he gets a near fall. Del Rio works on the arm and he wraps it in the ropes and the referee warns him.
Del Rio continues to work on the injured arm and he gets another near fall. Del Rio returns to the arm bar. Rey with forearms and then he avoids a tilt-a-whirl back breaker but Del Rio with a kick to Rey and he can only get a near fall. Del Rio tries to take off Rey’s mask but Rey holds on to his identity.
Rey kicks Del Rio in the leg but Del Rio with a drop kick and he gets a near fall. Del Rio returns to the arm bar and then he turns it into a hammer lock. Rey with a flying mare and a kick to Del Rio. Del Rio charges at Rey but Rey drops down and Del Rio goes through the ropes to the floor. Ricardo checks on Del Rio.
R Truth tells everyone to stop everything and to call the policia because we have a thief among us. He says that Rey is a thief. Rey stole his spot in the number one contender match and his shot at the title. Truth says that isn’t fair.
Rey sees Del Rio trying to take advantage of the situation and he hits a springboard cross body for a near fall. Rey with an Irish whip but Del Rio sends him to the apron. Rey goes up top for a seated splash and then he sends Alberto into the ropes after a head scissors. Ricardo absorbs the 619 and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: Rey Mysterio by disqualification
After the match, Del Rio sends Rey shoulder first into the ring post. He follows that with an elbow drop from the turnbuckles. Alberto tries to take off the mask again before leaving the ring.
R Truth comes to the ring and he hits Rey from behind and he kicks Rey in the shoulder and then he punches Rey. Truth waits for Rey to get to his feet and he hits What’s Up on Rey.
Truth gets a mic and he asks Rey what is he doing and who does he think he is. To challenge Truth. Truth says that no one challenges him because he makes the challenges. Just like he showed Rey tonight, on Sunday, he tells Rey that he’s gonna get got. Truth punches Rey. Truth kicks Rey since nobody is coming to Rey’s aid.
CM Punk and Mason Ryan are being recruited for something, maybe the match against John Cena.
We are back and Did You Know that a lot of people go to WWE shows.
It is time for the official contract signing and Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Jack Swagger are in the ring. Cole reclines in his chair and he welcomes everyone. Cole says that Lawler cannot let things go and he had to make the challenge for this match. Cole says that the contract will not become official until he signs the contract. He wants Lawler to remind everyone what he said last week.
Lawler says that Cole never beat him legitimately, but if Cole wins on Sunday, Lawler will give Cole his Hall of Fame ring and if it ever happened, Lawler would personally induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.
Cole signs the contract and he is happy. Lawler signs as well and the match that has been announced, is official.
Cole says that he believes in full disclosure and he says that Lawler did not read the contract. The match is not going to be an ordinary match, it will be a Kiss My Foot Match. Cole tells Lawler that Jerry will do what Good Ole JR did last month. We go to the footage.
Cole chuckles at what we just saw. Cole points out that JR is the only person to kiss Vince McMahon’s rear end and Michael Cole’s foot. Cole says that he made this match because he wanted Lawler to feel comfortable. Cole reminds Lawler that he was in a Kiss My Foot Match before. We go back to 1995 when Jerry Lawler had to kiss Bret Hart’s foot.
Cole wants Jerry to look at what he will be kissing on Sunday and it has the same fungus, plus some other substances that might be organic.
Jerry Lawler tells Cole that he is no Bret Hart. He says that Cole isn’t even a Jack Swagger. Lawler says that he doesn’t like Swagger, but he respects what Swagger can do in the ring because he is a former World Champion. He says that Cole should be proud because he turned a former World Champion into a side kick.
Cole says that nobody remembers Swagger being a World Champion and people say that Swagger is best known for being his side kick. He says that the only reason why Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because he was Cole’s side kick.
Jack doesn’t appreciate what Cole said and he tells Lawler to have fun because he is done with Cole.
Cole tries to apologize as Swagger walks away.
Lawler has a smile on his face and Cole tries to suck up to Lawler. Cole says that everyone knows that was a joke. Cole reminds Lawler that they have known each other for fourteen years. He tries to weasel out of the match, but Lawler tells Cole to stuff it. Lawler grabs Cole by his tie and he tells Cole that he has been putting his foot in his mouth for years and now Lawler will put his foot in Cole’s mouth and Michael will kiss it.
Miz is now talking to Kane and Big Show stops by. Kane and Big Show walk into a commercial.
We find out that ShowKane will be defending the tag titles against Mason Ryan and CM Punk at Over the Limit.
Match Number Four: Big Show and Kane versus Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga in a Non Title Match
Kane with an uppercut to Michael but Michael tries for a sunset flip and Kane picks up Michael and connects with another uppercut. Kane with a slam followed by a drop kick for a near fall. Show tags in and he chops Michael. Show with another chop. Show with an Irish whip but he runs into a boot but Show tries for a slam and Michael clips Show. Michael with kicks and Otunga is tagged in and he hits a drop kick and kicks to the head. Otunga with a near fall. Michael tags back in and he kicks Show. Michael with a DDT to the leg but Show with an emphatic kick out.
Otunga tags in and he kicks Show and then he continues to work on the leg. Michael tags in and he kicks Show and continues to work on the leg. Show with a kick to the head but Otunga tags back in. David kicks Show in the hamstring. Otunga works on the ankle but Show kicks Otunga away. Show grabs Otunga by the throat but Otunga kicks show. Otunga with a side head lock but Otunga with a belly-to-back suplex and both men are down. Show makes the tag to Kane and Michael tags in too.
Kane with punches to Michael followed by an Irish whip and side slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top for the clothesline and he hits it. Kane signals for the choke slam and Otunga tries to interfere. Kane with a boot to Otunga. Show with a shoulder to Ryan after he teased getting involved. Kane grabs Michael by the throat and Punk with a kick to the back of the head and Michael with a running neck breaker to Kane for the three count.
Winners: Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga
We see Miz talking to R Truth and we go to commercial.
We run through the card for Over the Limit.
Scott Stanford is with Kane and Big Show and he asks about how the loss affects their match on Sunday. Show says that Nexus had a good night tonight and they won tonight. Show says that they are the alpha and omega and they will not lose the tag titles on Sunday. Kane says that Punk was in all of his glory tonight, but on Sunday it will not be Punk’s salvation, it will be the annihilation of Nexus on Sunday.
John Cena is walking in the back and he gets a shirt from Zack Ryder as we go to commercial.
We are back with the WWE Rewind: John Cena defeating Alex Riley last week on Raw.
The Miz comes out with the human lapdog Alex Riley and Miz says that he has decided that tonight’s main event will be a No Holds Barred Match, and he wants John Cena to get out here.
Jack Swagger hits Cena from behind and he kicks Cena. Miz introduces his opponent, Jack Swagger.
Match Number Five: John Cena versus Jack Swagger in a No Holds Barred Match
Swagger continues the assault as they make their way into the ring. Swagger chokes Cena in the corner. Swagger punches Cena and then he tries for the ankle lock. Cena kicks Swagger off and then Cena with punches followed by an Irish whip but he runs into an elbow.
Swagger with an elbow drop followed by a leg drop. Swagger with a forearm to the back followed by a hard Irish whip. Swagger with a suplex to Cena as the crowd shows how they feel about Cena. Swagger with the double jump Swagger Bomb for a near fall. We go to commercial.
We are back and Swagger with a key lock on Cena. We see footage from the commercial break when they fought by the announce table and Cena got sent into the ring post. Cena with a snap mare but he runs into a boot from Swagger. Swagger with a boot to the midsection and then he sends Cena into the ringside barrier that did not have the normal padding.
They return to the ring and Cena kicks out at two. We also see that Swagger used the General Manager’s computer. Swagger gets a chair and he hits Cena in the back with it and he gets a near fall. Swagger pulls Cena towards the corner and he sets for the Swagger Bomb, but he puts the chair on Cena’s chest first. Swagger hits the Swagger Bomb but he can only get a near fall. Swagger puts the chair in the turnbuckles.
Cena gets a second wind and he punches Swwagger but Swagger catches Cena and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Swagger puts Cena in the ankle lock. Cena rolls through and gets out of the hold. Swagger charges into the corner but Cena moves out of the way and Swagger runs into the steel chair in the corner.
Cena with the flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and then it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. The Legendary Marine 12 Rounds Moves of Doom ends with the Attitude Adjustment and then Swagger is put in the STF and Swagger taps out.
Winner: John Cena
After the match, Miz applauds Cena on his victory and he says that was very very very impressive. He tells Cena to cherish this thrill of victory because on Sunday, Cena will be feeling emptiness, sorrow, and regret. There are so many ways to make a human being say I Quit. You can beat them so severely that they have to say I Quit. Miz says that he can throw Cena off the stage to make him say I Quit. Miz says that he can put Cena against the stage and run the crane camera into Miz. He could also take the steel steps and ram Cena with them again and again until he cannot stand up.
Miz says that he can go under the ring and he sends Alex to find something useful. Riley pulls out a large black pipe and he says that those are the obvious things. He says that there are a million ways that Cena hasn’t even thought out. Miz says that he is more intelligent, conniving, and more ruthless than anyone that Cena has faced in his entire life.
Miz says that he has found a way that not even Cena has seen before. Miz guarantees to everyone that after their match at Over the Limit, he will be declared the new WWE Champion.
Miz wants to know why Cena is looking at him that way because it looks like Cena doesn’t believe him. Miz says that he won’t use the pipe on Sunday, but he has no problem using it tonight.
Riley tries to sneak attack Cena but Cena stops him. Miz hits Cena twice with the pipe but when he tries for a third, Cena has already recovered and he hits Miz and Riley with the pipe.
Cena tells Miz to bring his million ways to beat him. He tells Miz that he has a hurting coming because Miz will say I Quit.
We go to credits.
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