Raw Review – April 11, 2011
-I don’t really have much of an introduction this week, so I’ll just say one simple thing…Penguins in 6.
-Michael Cole gets his own entrance because Vince thinks that he is the next coming of the Mr. McMahon character (no seriously). Look, there’s a difference between McMahon’s heat and Cole’s heat. People hated Vince because he was power-mad boss who held down the working man (Steve Austin). Cole’s heat is more “please shut this guy up” and that only lasts for so long before people get sick of it…mark my words.
-John Cena kicks us off officially and recaps the events of last week with the Rock before promising their match at WrestleMania 28 will be for the world title. I wonder how the people of Atlanta feel about their “huge” WrestleMania event being treated like a transitional event? Randy Orton interrupts and spews his usual stuff until Batista cuckhold John Morrison also makes his presence known.
Before John can pimp Melina out again, Vickie Guerrero brings out Dolph Ziggler and his new t-shirt to stake their claim to the world title. R-Truth (?!?) says he also deserves a title and I’m surprised the crowd didn’t laugh him out of the building. The GM settles this by placing everyone in a gauntlet match with the winner receiving a title shot. Why not just have a battle royal like the old days when they ran out of booking ideas?
-Promo for Awesome Kong’s debut…why not just show her? Her appeal is her size.
Eve vs. Brie Bella
SMELL THE RATINGS! Eve has the referee put magic marker on Nikki so she can’t interfere in the match. Wow, psychology….kind of. Anyways, Brie stomps away in the corner and goes to the chinlock but Eve comes back with a bulldog. Babyface comeback to zero reaction leads to a standing moonsault for two and Brie gets hung in the Tree of Woe. Nikki makes the switch and gets caught by the referee but the distraction allows Brie to hit an X-Factor for the win.
Winner and NEW Champion: Brie Bella
-Does anyone really care about this? Shouldn’t outside interference be a disqualification? No on both counts *.
-Backstage, Eve acts like a bitch to everyone.
Sin Cara vs. Primo Colon
HEY! Primo still has a job…and it’s to do a job. Nice hammerlock sequence kicks us off and Primo slugs away but Cara uses a monkey flip and dropkick to set up a diving headscissors to the floor. The crowd liked that one. Primo catches him coming back in and chops away HARD in the corner but misses a blind charge now it’s Cara’s turn to serve up the chops. Springboard headscissors leads to another headscissors and he flips through a powerbomb to a hard rollup pin for two. Primo heads up top but gets caught and they screw up the finishing spot. After a regroup, Cara heads up and hits a flipping STO from the top rope in an impressive visual for the win.
Winner: Sin Cara
-Nowhere near as long as the house show matches they’ve been doing but still good give the time constraints **1/4. Minus points for blowing the finish of course.
-Recap of the Corrrrrrrrrrrre being squashed…again.
-In the ring, Wade Barrett runs down the Corre for blowing the attack last week and that triggers some bickering until Santino and Friends interrupt, giving us…
The Corre vs. Santino, Mark Henry, Daniel Bryan & Evan Bourne
I’m ignoring Santino’s ridiculous “apple promo” before the match because…well, because. We take a commercial and return with Bryan getting his ass kicked in heel corner. This goes on while Cole makes apple jokes, not putting the match over and only worried with getting himself over. Finally, Bryan gets a desperation dropkick and makes the hot tag to Santino, who cleans house on Heath Slater. Santino’s headbutt off the ropes triggers a pier-6 brawl and Santino looks for the Cobra but Gabriel boots him from behind and Slater hits an inverted DDT for the win.
Winners: The Corre
-These guys could have a good match given time but, as is, it’s about **.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger
Jim Ross is in Lawler’s corner and, if Swagger wins, Lawler never gets another shot at Cole. If King wins, he gets a match with Cole and gets to pick the stipulation. Swagger dominates to start and both managers are miked to really amp up Sports Entertainment rating here. Jack works a headlock and then switches to the ankle before changing his mind yet again and working the wrist…even JR points out how stupid that is. Lawler suddenly stops selling and pulls down the strap for a comeback and dropkick. A Cole distraction allows Swagger to take over but JR has seen enough and goes after Cole. Swagger runs to his manager’s defense and gets rolled up by Lawler for the pin.
Winner: Jerry Lawler
-Well, this was just not good. They actually couldn’t have commentary because Cole never shut up at ringside and not in a good way DUD.
-Post-match, Cole badmouths Swagger and smacks him across the face. What, no punch from Swagger? Lawler announces a tag match between himself and JR against Swagger and Cole. Now that’s EXTREME~!
-Edge hits the ring for his “big announcement” and it’s that he is retiring from professional wrestling…..oh COME ON! Of course, the live crowd buys it hook, line, and sinker and starts a “thank you, Edge” chant. Edge runs through his career (funny how the Attitude Era stuff still gets a pop, huh?) and even mentions Lita’s name, something I was not expecting. He leaves to a standing ovation and it’s gonna be a shame when they flush all this goodwill down the toilet for the sake of an angle.
Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler
Miz is on commentary and the winner is the #1 contender. Dolph goes low with a dropkick and hits a Rocker Dropper for two before hitting the chinlock. They job around for a bit until Orton makes the comeback with a powerslam and the hangman’s DDT. Randy looks to finish but Nexus attacks and Ziggler gets the pin. Mason Ryan delivers the POWER OF ROIDS POWERBOMB to really driver the point home, giving us…
Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth
What has R-Truth done to deserve this shot? Dolph dominates and hits an elbowdrop for two. A resthold leads to a back suplex for two and Ziggler goes right back to the chinlock. A break leads to a Truth comeback and falcon arrow for two but he misses a blind charger and Ziggler hooks a neckbreaker for two. Boooooooooooring. Out of nowhere, Truth hits a leaping STO for the surprise pin….ok then.
R-Truth vs. John Morrison
We return from commercial with them performing a pinfall reversal sequence and Morrison hits a flapjack into something looking like a legdrop for two. Less flips, more wrestling. Neckbreaker gets two and Morrison clotheslines him to the floor, where they clothesline each other for the double KO. Back inside, Morrison cleans house and gets two off a leg lariat but Truth comes back with Truth or Consequences for a near fall. Morrison recovers with a flash kick and looks for Starship Pain but comes up empty and What’s Up gets the pin again.
R-Truth vs. John Cena
Cena attacks and hits a gutwrench suplex for two then follows with a dropkick for another near fall. Suplex gets another two as the crowd entertains itself with dueling chants. How about another suplex for two? Did Cena watch a boatload of Scott Steiner tapes before coming out tonight? Scoop slam gets two for Cena yet again. Suplexes, you say? Have some more. Cena busts out the legdrop from the top rope for two as they are doing a very effective job of painting Truth as resilent because the crowd is changing from cheering against Cena to cheering for Truth…there’s a very big difference there.
Truth makes the comeback as I ponder if these two met in 2003, we could have had one hell of a battle rap. Truth measures him for the What’s Up finisher but gets caught and Cena hits the SOS Comeback. Attitude Adjustment looks to finish but the Miz and Riley run in and attack both guys, causing the bell to ring. If you can’t guess the booking decision here, please turn in your Smark Card at the front desk.
-OF COURSE, the GM checks in and makes the main event at Extreme Rules a triple threat match. The faces deliver a righteous beating but cannot celebrate properly and stare each other down as we go off the air.
-I can appreciate what they were trying to do with Truth and they were smart to save Cena till the end because they knew the crowd would be 50/50. Crowd was into it at the end and that’s what matters, call the whole thing ***1/4, mostly for Truth’s selling and the booking.
Can’t really say this Raw was boring, huh? Between Edge’s announcement, the main event gauntlet, and then Sin Cara debut, there were really no dead spots (women’s match excluded). Everyone’s going to be talking about the Edge announcement tomorrow and with good reason, this has the potential to be a major problem for WWE. Once again though, something just doesn’t seem right.