Raw Review – October 11, 2010
-So yeah, I actually wasted time watching that “major” PPV last night and to say it was a letdown would definitely be the understatement of the year. Recreating an angle from 1996 in the same exact ring? Yay? Whoo hoo? Who cares is more like it. The basically almost killed themselves building up that stupid “They” angle and then fell right on their faces. Or this…
-LIVE! from Seattle, Washington (home of rain and more rain)
-John Cena hits the ring and King/Cole try to explain away the boos by saying it’s because he’s a member of Nexus now…right. Why wouldn’t Barrett force Cena to come down to the Nexus music? It’s those little details that make or break angles sometimes. After a somewhat boring interview, the Miz interrupts to proclaim himself the captain of Team Raw and extend an invite to John Cena. That’s not good enough for glory hog Cena, who wants to be captain himself. Wade Barrett sticks his nose in things for no other reason than to remind people that Cena will be in his corner at the PPV. Mr. Mystery GM chimes in and lets everyone know that he has set up some matches to determine who will be on Team Raw at Bragging Rights along with a main event of Cena/Miz to determine the captain. Riley and Miz attack Barrett for no real reason and Cena gets chewed out for not saving him soon enough.
Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth
Am I the only one who thinks Eve’s dancing looks REALLY awkward and stupid? Maybe if they put a pole in the middle of the ring she would be more comfortable. Truth uses stick and move offense to catch Ted with a heel kick for two but gets run over with a clothesline and DiBiase hammers away. Backbreaker puts Truth down for two but Truth makes the comeback with a powerslam and a Falcon Arrow for two. Truth tries for whatever off the ropes but gets caught with a spinebuster for two and DiBiase looks finish but Goldust appears onstage and distracts DiBiase long enough for Truth to hit the Lie Detector (an AWFUL finisher) and become the first member of Team Raw.
-Pretty basic, cookie cutter match here *1/2. Loses a bit because the world was subjected to a Goldust push and Eve’s spastic dancing in the same segment.
John Morrison vs. Tyson Kidd
Morrison might as well be matched against “Iron” Mike Sharpe here. Kidd gets dumped immediately and Morrison looks to fly but gets caught with a kick and tastes the apron for two. Kidd works a headlock but Morrison fights back with a dropkick and hammers away in the corner. Leg lariat (not a heel kick, Cole) gets two but stops a springboard with a second rope russian leg sweep in a nice counter. Kidd tries for the Sharpshooter (without kicking him in the leg, ankle, calf, foot, or ANYTHING close to the leg) but gets kicked out of the ring and they have a pinfall reversal sequence on the way back in. Morrison says “enough of this jobber” and hits a moonsault side slam for the win and earns a spot on Team Raw.
Winner: John Morrison
-Good reversals but far too short to be anything above **1/4.
-Backstage, the other members of Nexus confront Husky Harris and Mike McGillicutty about Barrett’s promises to them but Wade interrupts and puts everyone in his place. The segment ends with Justin Gabriel challenging Orton after Otunga sidesteps the match in a smooth way.
Santino Marella vs. Zack Ryder
Whoa, battle of the Job Squad. Santino does his usual comedy match stuff and gets his ass kicked as Lawler continues to sound like an idiot and ask Cole what a “tool” is. Does Vince tell these guys to act like they were dropped on their heads as children? Santino makes a comeback and hits the Cobra to get the pin and earn a spot on Raw. Are you serious?
Winner: Santino Marella
-Is this the show where we try to see who can win with the WORST finisher? Tamina flirts with Santino afterward and we put over that she’s strong and weighs a lot. Yeah, I can smell the money from here 1/4*.
Justin Gabriel vs. Randy Orton
Gabriel has Slater and Otunga with him, like it will make a difference. Orton gets a quick clothesline and forces Gabriel to the floor, where he avoids a Nexus attack. The referee sends the heels back to the locker room and WE GOTTA HEAD TO BREAK!!
When we come back, Orton hits a dropkick for two and stomps away. The Bob Orton trademarked guillotine on the bottom rope (which would not make it “vintage Randy Orton”, Michael Cole) sets up another near fall. Gabriel makes the heel comeback with kicks and hits a somersault senton for two before stomping away in the corner. I know Orton is over and everything, but he’s so Goddamn BORING. I mean seriously, what is it about this guy that has people fooled? Gabriel hits a dropkick to the face for two and then works the chinlock to really ramp up the intensity. Knee to the gut gets two so we go BACK to the chinlock so Orton can fight out with a back suplex.
Backbreaker gets two and Orton follows with a clotheslines and the “scoop slam” powerslam. Note to Cole: Of COURSE Orton is hearing voices in his head, it’s in his entrance theme…duh. Gabriel puts Orton down with kicks and looks for the 450 and actually hits him even though Orton was supposed to roll out of the way. I’m sure Randy with throw a big hissy fit backstage about Gabriel because that’s what he does…ask Ken Anderson. Orton recovers and hits the RKO for the academic pinfall.
Winner: Randy Orton
-Like I said, I just don’t get all the hoopla with Randy Orton. It always feels like he has the same match over and over again while never changing his moveset or how his matches are laid out. Sure, the rubes love it but I really don’t get excited for his matches at all **1/2.
-Are we serious with this Big Show movie? I mean, that’s got to be like a Saturday Night Live skit or something. No self respecting movie studio would actually RELEASE this thing, would they?
Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
So are they going to make up for that stupid-ass booking last week or make it worse? Bryan, learning from last week, attacks immediately and tries for the LaBelle Lock so Sheamus takes a powder. Bryan tries a plancha and gets caught but stills ends Sheamus into the ring post while the crowd gives Bryan the hometown pop. Back in, Bryan keeps the momentum going but gets caught with the Irish Curse backbreaker and takes a short-arm clothesline for two. Resthold allows everyone to catch their breath and Bryan makes a comeback with an axe bomber and a series of kicks of two. Missile dropkick hits for two so Bryan tries a leg submission but Sheamus kicks out and hits the Irish hammer (with Marty Jannetty 360 sell) to take over. Sheamus looks for the Razor’s Edge but Bryan rolls through for a two count and Sheamus pops up with the pump kick for the win and a spot on Team Raw.
-Welcome to the midcard, Mr. Bryan. So basically what he has right now is a worthless midcard title and victories over the Miz that will be forgotten once Miz is in the main event **1/2.
-Backstage, Truth advises Cena to quit and get away from Nexus. But…but…John Cena doesn’t quit!!!!!!!!
Evan Bourne vs. CM Punk
As rumored all week, Punk is the guy acquired for Edge in the trade last week. Punk gets sent to the outside with a knee and Bourne tries to follow with flying headscissors but Punk holds on and slams Bourne into the ring barrier. Back in, Punk grabs a front facelock and tries a suplex but Bourne fights out and hits a spinning heel kick and a back kick. Bourne looks to finish with Air Bourne but takes too long and gets crotched. A Go To Sleep later and we have our newest member of Team Raw.
Winner: CM Punk
-You really can’t ask for a long match from Bourne due to his upcoming shoulder surgery and, speaking of which, Punk lays in a beatdown and runs Bourne shoulder-first into the ring post before locking on the Anaconda Vise to explain Evan’s absence. So there you go, you get a new heel for Raw and a reason for Bourne to be gone…fair enough **.
-Natalya hits the ring to give Lay Cool a chance to come out and do their “Mean Girls” act, which was funny at first but gets annoying after awhile. I understand what they are going for here and, if I gave a shit about women’s wrestling, I might have a stronger opinion.
No Disqualification Match
The Miz vs. John Cena
Basic stuff kicks us off until Miz runs away and Alex Riley takes advantage of the no-DQ stipulation by clocking Cena outside the ring but WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK!!
When we return, Cena gets a bulldog for two but misses a blind charge and Miz hammers away. Miz tosses Cena to the floor for some more Riley punishment and we head for the announce table. Miz looks for the SCF on the table but a reversal forces him to shove Cena into the ring barrier. Cena makes a brief comeback and gets rid of Riley but makes the mistake of charging the Miz who yanks the covering off the ring barrier and Cena crashes against it. Back inside, Miz gets two and a missed clothesline triggers the Same Old Shit comeback but Cena runs into a boot for a near fall. Cena pops up and tries for the STF but Miz powers out and gets a neckbreaker for two.
Riley tosses in the MITB briefcase for some pain but Cena ducks it and locks on the STF before Riley comes in and tastes the same submission move. Since Riley sucks, Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty both attack out of the crowd and Miz gets the pin to become captain of the Raw team.
Winner: The Miz
-Nothing too terribly exciting here, as per usual **1/4. Cena tries for a revenge beatdown on the NXT 2 guys but Wade Barrett breaks it up and calms Cena down. Mystery GM Man books Harris & McGillicutty against Cena & Orton next week. Barrett promises, if Cena loses, that he will officially induct Harris and McGillicutty into Nexus so he wants Cena to “do the right thing”. Barrett does a REALLY good job of baiting Cena here and basically runs him into the ground until we go off the air.
Well, yet another show with an overall storyline but just nothing exciting going on in the meantime. I’m not asking for **** matches on TV every week but it seems like we see the same matches every single Monday night. Look, TNA sucks but at least they are using specialty matches and such to try and gain viewer interest. Raw, on the other hand, is simply throwing out one-on-one matches that have the exact same structure as the one that came before it. If I’m cynical, fine but dropping ratings prove that I’m not wrong.