Impact Wrestling Results – December 13, 2018
Welcome to Impact Wrestling on Pop TV.
We hit our usual video look back at last week’s show, then we go to the ring for our opening match…
Ultimate X Qualifier: Rich Swann vs Dave Crist
Dave immediately goes on the offensive, then dumps Swann to the floor where Jake gives him a suplex onto the ring apron. Dave rolls Swann back in and covers for 2, then we hit the chinlock. Swann gets free and dropkicks Dave to the floor, then takes both Crists out with a dive to the floor. Swann unloads with jabs back in the ring, then hits a Lethal Injection for 2. Dave rolls out of the way of a phoenix splash from Swann, but Swann counters an implant DDT attempt to a schoolboy rollup for 3.
Winner: Rich Swann
oVe jumps Swann after the bell, but Willie Mack comes out to the ring and tears through the Crists on the ramp before taking Sami out with a Stunner in the ring. Mack hammers Sami with right hands, but Swann physically restrains Mack from continuing the attack. Sami stares Mack and Swann down and backs the Crists off to the back while Mack asks him what he’s doing.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we go backstage to McKenzie with Moose, who says that he got her a gift, but one of his other girlfriends stole it. He’s not worried about Eddie Edwards tonight because he’s locked in a nuthouse, he’s worried about the Machine. Brian Cage gets to be graced by a legend, and computers and machines die, but legends live forever, and tonight, he’ll find out firsthand why he’s the legend.
Willie Mack is backstage asking Rich Swann why he’s pulling him off Sami Callihan after he came out to help him, and Swann doesn’t want to go down that road with Sami Callihan, he’s been there and he doesn’t want him getting pulled into that. He knows how dangerous Sami can be, so he just wants Willie to back up off that situation.
Josh is in the ring and introduces Tessa Blanchard and Taya Valkyrie for a face to face interview leading into their Knockouts Title Match at Homecoming. Taya tells Tessa what she did at Bound For Glory was very creative, but knocking the ref out in their second match was cheap. She says a bunch of stuff in Spanish, and says she’ll be all over her at Homecoming. Tessa says the only way Taya would know how a champion acts is by watching her husband, and he’s not even too good at that. Taya has always been just a challenger here, and she always talks about chasing her dreams, and that makes her no different than the people, because she’s a loser. So Tessa grabbed the apron or hit a ref, she’ll walk out the door with the title if she wants to, but at Homecoming, Taya will have to take it from her, and that’s something nobody has been able to do. Josh asks for decorum, then says there’s another reason they were brought out here: Impact management decided to add a stipulation to this match, specifically a guest referee. Josh motions to the apron, and introduces Gail Kim as the special referee at Homecoming.
Tessa Blanchard is backstage saying she respects Gail Kim, and Gail inspired her to get into the business, but that doesn’t mean that she won’t run right through her if she gets in her way at Homecoming.
Ultimate X Qualifier: Trevor Lee vs Trey Miguel
Trey is representing the Rascals. Trevor looks to be in outstanding shape, he’s gotten real lean. Feeling out process to start, Trevor tries a German suplex, and Trey goes full rotation and lands on his feet. Trey with a flying headscissors, gets dumped to the apron, does a Marty Jannetty slide under Trevor, and knocks him to the floor, then connects with a dropkick through the ropes. Trevor finally catches Trey with a kick to the back, and a high backbreaker for 2. Trevor hits a Beell that sends Trey clear across the ring, but he charges right into Trey’s boot…and catches him on a charge of his own and drops him into a backbreaker, holding him in an over the knee stretch. Trey gets free, hits a drop down enziguiri, and hits a running neckbreaker for 2. Trevor knocks Trey into next week with a forearm smash, but Trey swings through the ropes with a 619, followed by a West Coast Pop for the win.
Winner: Trey Miguel
Aside from totally aping Rey Mysterio’s finishing sequence, this was a solid match for Trevor to go out on.
Pentagon Jr and Fenix are doing one of their epilepsy-inducing promos, and they say they don’t understand why there’s tension between them, because they came here to be the best. Fenix says that at Homecoming, they’re going to beat them.
Su Yung and Dark Allie are backstage, and Dark Allie is babbling about how Allie is gone, and the end is the beginning, and the beginning is the end. Su helpfully adds that the end has come. Well, that was enlightening.
The GWN flashback takes us back to an Ultimate X match from a bunch of years ago, then we see a video package looking at the history between LAX and the Lucha Brothers.
Speaking of LAX, we go to the satellite clubhouse where Konnan is still tight. He tried to get everyone together and things got hot. They’re coming to take the titles, they’re not gonna let them, and things will never be the same. They wanted to do it, so they’ll do it without him. Konnan gets up and walks out, and Santana says fine, he guesses he’ll do it on his own.
Santana vs Fenix
They do a bunch of lucha stuff. Santana sends Fenix to the floor with a flying headscissors and hits a somersault dive. Fenix comes back and hits Santana with a moonsault to the floor, but misses one in the ring. Santana with a shotgun dropkick for 2, then plants Fenix with a uranage for 2. Fenix with a leaping enziguiri and a slingshot Ace Crusher for 2. Fenix with a spinning backfist, Santana with an inverted Frankensteiner, Fenix with one of his own, and both men are down. They trade forearms, they trade superkicks, they trade bicycle kicks, Santana hangs himself up on the second rope, and Fenix RUNS ACROSS THE TOP ROPE AND PUNTS SANTANA IN THE FACE. That was insane! Only gets 2, though. Santana hits a rolling Ace Crusher, over-the-head powerbomb, and a sitout powerbomb for a SUPER close 2. Fenix goes for a spinning Muscle Buster, Santana counters to a rollup for 2, then Fenix drills him with a spinkick to the face and hits the spinning Muscle Buster on the second attempt for the win.
This match was great! They absolutely killed it out there. They give the respect pound after the match, but LAX doesn’t look happy.
McKenzie is backstage with Killer Kross, who says everything is a matter of perspective. Everyone wants him to spell it out, but the writing is on the wall, and he can’t do it alone. Johnny Impact comes in and says Kross is just trying to manipulate people, and he doesn’t get him, but he wants to make clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with him, and he better stay away from him and his wife. Kross says Impact showed that he’s a half-assed husband who can’t protect his wife, and Impact grabs him by the throat and slams him into the wall, and Kross says this is the Johnny Impact who can beat Brian Cage. Impact says again to stay away from him and Taya, and Kross laughs and says sure, whatever it takes.
Kiera Hogan is backstage saying she never thought Allie would hurt her, but after last week, she realizes that Allie is gone, and all that’s left is a soulless shell that used to be Allie. She said she’d have Allie’s back no matter what until the end, but the end is here, and now it’s time to fight.
We go back to the nut house, where Raven is playing chess with someone and letting him know that aliens didn’t abduct him, the government did. Eli Drake comes in and sits down with Raven. He has dealt with Joseph Park and Tommy Dreamer, but he wanted to come see the head of the snake that inspired these other children who thought they could walk in looking like people in the audience, use light tubes, and become a star. Raven was a star, these others are cheap knockoffs, but now he is here waiting to die, and when that happens, his entire hardcore genre dies. Drake is the last of a dying breed, and if he needs to, he can beat Raven at his own game, and he’ll do the same to Abyss at Homecoming. Raven asks if he wants him to watch this, but he says they don’t get PPV here. Drake says get the GWN app and watch it there, and Raven has the orderlies throw him out. Okay.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, and inform us that the next two weeks of Impact will be the Best of 2018 episodes, and they’ll be back on 1/3.
Ruby Raze vs Jordynne Grace
Jordynne absolutely hammers Raze with forearms, leapfrogs over her, and hits the charging back elbow in the corner. Katarina gets on the apron to distract Jordynne, allowing Raze to sneak in from behind and hit a German suplex. Raze pops Jordynne onto the top rope and hits Total Anarchy, but Jordynne pops right up and gets in Raze’s face. Raze goozles her, Jordynne powers out, then picks Raze up in an electric chair and dumps her, then grabs Katarina when she goes to the top rope, gives her a Muscle Buster on top of Raze, and hits a Vader Bomb for the win.
Winner: Jordynne Grace
Jordynne is dominant once again. She really impresses the hell out of me.
The Desi Arnaz Hit Squad is backstage talking about Scarlett Bordeaux, and she suddenly appears through the smoke. They all hem and haw while she looks bored, and she says that KM and Fallah Bahh were at the top of her list, but now they’re at the bottom, and she has a great idea: they fight KM and Fallah because they love when men fight over her. They swoon while she rolls her eyes and walks out.
And with that, it’s…MAIN EVENT TIME!
Moose vs Brian Cage
They get off to a fast start, and Cage quickly sends Moose to the floor with a flying headscissors, then goes out after him and continues the beating. Moose blocks a suplex onto the apron and dishes out a couple of chops, but cage ducks the last one and Moose hits the post. Ouch! He quickly recovers and rams Cage into the apron, then hurts himself on another chop, so he rams Cage into the rail instead. Moose with a bicycle kick, but Cage catches him on a second attempt, pops him up, and powerbombs him onto the ring apron. We go back into the ring, where Moose rams Cage into the second turnbuckle and hits the delayed dropkick. Cage tries going to the second rope, and Moose dropkicks him to the floor. Moose rams Cage into the rail yet again, and he orders the fat people in the front row to move out of the way so he can dump him into the crowd, then rolls him into the ring instead. What a heel. He gets his just due when Cage comes right back out with a dive, then we head back into the ring where Cage plants Moose with a spinebuster for 2. Cage with a leaping enziguiri, ducks the ripcord elbow, goes to the second rope, and Moose counters to a sitout powerbomb for 2. Moose with a pop-up powerbomb and senton for 2. Moose leapfrogs Moose, who tumbles to the apron. Cage goes for the deadlift superplex…AND HE HITS IT! DAAAAAAAAMN! Only gets 2, though. Moose bites Cage on the face, and that leads to a strike exchange in the middle of the ring. Moose finally hits a roaring clothesline, Cage comes back with one of his own, and both men are down. Moose escapes the F5, so Cage powerbombs him instead, Moose comes back wtih a spear, but Cage rolls to the floor. Moose goes after him, but here comes Eddie Edwards, still wearing the hospital gown from the nuthouse! So it’s been a week and he hasn’t found a change of clothes yet?
Winner by DQ: Moose
Eddie, who is wearing his backwards hat despite the lack of new clothes or even shoes, absolutely takes it to Moose and wipes him out with a dive through the ropes. Eddie goes under the ring for a kendo stick which he somehow stashed there, despite having apparently just gotten there after walking back on foot from the hospital in Maryland. He nails Moose with it, but Moose heads for the hills, so Eddie rolls into the ring and makes snow angels on the mat as we call it a week.