AEW Dynamite Results – April 13, 2022
For all intents and purposes, this is a PPV card tonight. What a show tonight we’ve got coming from the UNO Lakefront Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana!
Match #1. CM Punk vs. Penta Oscuro w/ Alex Abrahantes
The crowd is hot, and the crowd is split right down the middle here. Both men start throwing HAYMAKER PANCAKERS in the center of the ring and Excalibur references Frye and Takayama. PRIDE NEVER DIE. Penta with a superkick early but Punk eats it and heads to the top with a lucha style arm drag. Punk looks for the GTS way too early and Penta rolls through into a kneebar. Punk escapes and sends him face first into the top turnbuckle. Punk with a rising knee in the corner but Penta fights out with a pair of slingblades for a two count. Penta sends Punk outside but Punk gets the upper hand and hits a suicide dive. Punk rolls Penta in and goes for the cover… gets a two count. Vertical suplex by Punk. Punk slowing things down here and wrenching on Penta’s face. Penta reverses an Irish whip in the corner and catches Punk climbing up to the top with a head kick. Penta follows Punk up top and both men are in no man’s land here. Punk slips off the top rope while going for a hurricanrana and he’s clutching at his left knee. Penta with an Irish whip but Punk can’t put any pressure on the knee and crumbles to the floor. Penta puts Punk on the top rope, but Punk reverses it, puts Penta up top, and hits the hurricanrana! Crowd is firmly behind Punk here despite the slip. Punk with a rising knee strike and he’s looking for the GTS. Punk can’t get Penta up, but Penta rolls through and looks to snap Punk’s arm! Punk fights out and locks in the Anaconda Vice, but Penta gets to the ropes. Both men are on the apron and we’re exchanging strikes. Punk blocks a Fear Factor attempt on the apron and looks for a piledriver of his own but Penta blocks! Punk with a high kick and Penta rolls back in the ring. Springboard clothesline by Punk, followed by a rising knee and a short arm clothesline. Punk signals for the GTS! Penta blocks the GTS! Leg trap, Fear Factor blocked! High kick by Punk blocked, superkick by Penta! Springboard by Penta but Punks catches him! GTS! One, two, three! Heck of a showing by both men here and the fans are on their feet for CM Punk, who is one step closer to the AEW title match, methinks.
Winner: CM Punk
Rating: ***1/2
The Jericho Appreciation Society shows up in an airplane, and Daniel Garcia is wearing a tank top and a Kangol. This is tremendous. Kingston, Santana, and Ortiz are here in their car and they said it was on sight! LAX dump Parker and Menard out of their car, and their shoes have been stolen. NY IS BACK, BABY.
Match #2. AEW World Tag Team Titles: Jurassic Express (c) vs. reDRagon
Jungle Boy and Bob Fish start. Fish takes control early with some strikes and makes the tag to Kyle. Jungle Boy quickly gets the tag to Luchasaurus who makes KOR pay with some strikes in the corner. Luchasaurus misses a big boot and KOR attacks the knee with some inside leg kicks. Luchasaurus to the outside and Bobby Fish delivers two dragon screw leg whips before rolling him back inside. Thai clinch and knee by Bob who push kicks Luchasaurus into a leg kick by KOR from behind. Pretty great tag work here. KOR with a straight ankle lock as Bob hits the outside in senton. Luchasaurus with a headbutt and he makes the tag to Jungle Boy who comes in like a house of fire. Comeback lariat by Jungle Boy on KOR and reDRagon get dumped to the outside. Tope suicida by Jungle Boy. Make that two. reDRagon get out of the way but there’s Luchasaurus with a moonsault off the apron. My feed buffered for a second and KOR is in control of Jungle Boy in the middle of the ring. Arm ringer by KOR and a tag to Bob. Bob with wrist control here and some heavy strikes. Quick tag back to KOR who delivers some ground and pound from knee on belly. Snapmare from KOR and a top wrist lock. Jungle Boy gets up and hits the ropes but KOR rolls through into a straight arm bar. Jungle Boy floats over for the cover but only two. KOR keeps arm control but Jungle Boy flips out into an arm drag and makes the tag to Luchasaurus. “Lizard Man” cleans house and delivers a German suplex to KOR, a tail whip to Bob, and a double clothesline to both men. Double chokeslam from Luchasaurus to reDRagon and a standing moonsault to KOR! One, two, no! Jungle Boy is in and a double team diving elbow/side walk slam gets a long two count! Blind tag by Kyle who comes in and delivers a double arm float over, Bob grabs the legs, double arm DDT followed by an assisted wheelbarrow suplex! They need a name for that. Long two count! Straight arm bar by KOR to Jungle Boy but he JUST makes it to the ropes. Jungle Boy perched up top but Luchasaurus comes in and grabs KOR looking for the Doomsday Device! KOR grabs a diving guillotine choke on Luchasaurus as Bob Fish hits an avalanche falcon arrow from the top rope OVER KOR AND LUCHASAURUS! What a spot! One, two, NO! All four men are standing in the center of the ring exchanging blows! Rolling elbow by KOR but Jungle Boy springs off of Luchasaurus into a spinning DDT! Jungle Boy grabs Bobby Fish and hit their assisted sit out powerbomb combo (the Monster Mafia finish!) to Bobby Fish for the three count! What a match!
Winners: Jurassic Express
Rating: ****
KOR grabbed the chair and laid out Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy from behind, then proceeded to parade around the ring with the title. Great stuff. Here’s FTR! reDRagon and FTR get into a war of words on the entrance way and who and where do I send my money to if I want to see this?
Tony Schiavone is in the back with Toni Storm and Jamie Hayter. Hayter says she’s going to break Toni’s face. Toni walks away.
Match #3. MJF vs. Shawn Dean
MJF is a “boil on the ass of life” according to JR. MJF can’t get his jacket unzipped and the referee is trying to help him. Oh wait, yes he can, as he attacks Dean from behind. MJF Irish whips Dean into the turnbuckle and… uh oh. The big screen is showing a bunch of security laid out in the back, I think we know what that means. Crowd chants “We Want Wardlow!” MJF tosses Dean to the outside and beats on him before rolling him back into the ring. MJF leans on the apron and from behind… here’s Wardlow! Wardlow chases MJF through the ring and Spears hits Wardlow with a chair from behind. No effect. Security intervenes and Wardlow lays out about 40 dudes in a row, including powerbombing one poor soul on the apron. 7. 8. The referee is counting, but Wardlow and an army of security are in the way! MJF grabs the mic and says he will triple Bryce Remsberg’s pay if he doesn’t count to 10. 9… 10! Shawn Dean gets ANOTHER win over MJF. Literally all angle, but the crowd ate it up, Wardlow is a superstar, and that was entertaining.
Winner: Shawn Dean
Rating: NR
MJF runs into the ring to attack Bryce but Shawn Spears stops him. Wardlow is in the back and grabs the camera to let MJF know he won’t stop until he gets released from MJF’s contract.
Darby Allin says he wants to put a nail in the whole thing, and challenges Andrade to a coffin match!
Malakai Black says if you rip open his throat you’ll find a dark abyss of razorblades. Black says he wants you all to be afraid of the shadows. The house always win.
Match #4. Eddie Kingston, Santana, & Ortiz vs. The Jericho Appreciation Society (Jericho, Hager, & Garcia)
The JAS has ripped off the “the most recognized symbol in sport’s entertainment” and it’s perfect for them. The crowd still sings Judas. Eddie Kingston is wearing a “Thump” shirt in New Orleans as an homage to the Junk Yard Dog. Absolutely unreal. Ortiz is carrying Parker’s shoes around his neck. Jericho starts by giving the finger to everyone and then finishes with showing Santana who’s number one. Santana hits him with a right hand and hits ten mounted punches in the corner followed by a big boot. Both men trading chops in the center of the ring with Santana getting the better of it. Santana with a double leg inside the ring as Ortiz and Kingston attack the rest of the JAS on the outside. Back in the ring, Jericho gets Irish whipped into an STO by Eddie. Ortiz gets the tag but Jericho goes low and takes back control. Hager is in, double team flap jack to Ortiz. Eddie is outside attacking Garcia because that’s what Eddie does. Hager picks up Ortiz and slams him to the mat. Tag to Garcia with some ground and pound to Ortiz. Quick tag to Jericho who lands a back suplex before we head to commercial break. Back from commercial and Ortiz hits a big clothesline on Jericho and he needs to make the tag… and he does! Eddie is in and he’s taking everyone out. Butterfly suplex to Garcia and a Ghetto Blaster to Hager! Quick tag to Santana who hits the three amigos on Garcia! Santana up top… frog splash! Crowd chants “Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!” Two count to Garcia! Eddie is in and machine gun chops in the corner! Quick tag to Ortiz and a leg drop off the second rope. Eddie Kingston with a tope suicida to Hager on the outside! Here come Menard and Parker but Ortiz takes care of them with a cannonball through the middle rope! Ortiz is in and hits Garcia with a t-bone suplex! Eddie looking for the backfist but Jericho cracks him with the bat from behind, unbeknownst to referee Aubrey. Garcia covers and that’s all she wrote. Another really fun match, all of these guys have great chemistry together. This story is nowhere near over.
Winners: Jericho Appreciation Society
Rating: ***1/2
JAS beats down Santana, Ortiz, and Kingston after the match. Judas Effect to Ortiz as the JAS stand tall.
Alex Marvez is in the back with MJF, Shawn Spears, and Mark Sterling. MJF says Wardlow is going to be put to work, and the best way to slaughter a pig is with a Butcher. MJF hands a wad of cash to Andrade’s assistant, and here’s the Butcher.
Match #5. Marina Shafir vs. Skye Blue
Skye Blue goes for a guillotine choke early and Shafir dumps her on the mat ruthlessly. Stiff elbows from Shafir and it looks like this one won’t last long. Pump handle overhead throw by Shafir, as Shafir gets distracted by the Baddie Section! Skye Blue looks for the roll up but Shafir kicks out at two. Shafir rolls through, grabs a leg lock but also a straight arm bar as Blue tap quickly.
Winner: Marina Shafir
Rating: NR
Lexi is in the back with Hook who’s interrupted by Mark Sterling and Tony Nese. Nese says Hook was handed his sucess but he’s not looking for a fight. Danhausen attempts to curse Hook again but Hook tosses a medicine ball at him and he sells it well.
Ethan Page, Scorpio Sky, and Dan Lambert are here and at Battle of the Belts, Sammy Guevara gets his TNT title shot.
Match #6. Team Taz (Ricky Starks & Powerhouse Hobbs) vs. Swerve Strickland & Keith Lee
Starks is from NOLA and he gets a hero’s welcome here. Keith Lee and Swerve are getting a huge reaction too. Everyone in this match is super over and it makes for a really fun atmosphere. Hobbs and Swerve start and this is going to be fast. Hobbs with a huge shoulder block to start, followed by a fallaway slam. Keith Lee slow claps on the apron. Starks is in and the crowd loves it. Starks walks the ropes a la the Undertaker but hits a few dance moves as he does it. Flying shoulder block by Starks and Swerve is down. Swerve bounces off the ropes as he defies gravity and hits a tieras (did I spell that right?) and a big dropkick. Swerve holds Starks hands up as Lee delivers a double chop to the chest that BOOMS. Diving European uppercut to Starks for a less than one count. Hobbs comes in but gets dumped to the outside. Starks gets dumped to the outside. Swerve goes up top and walks the rope and hits a MOONSAULT OFF OF KEITH LEE TO THE OUTSIDE. That’s like that viral Tyler Black spot where he moonsaulted off the fan at ringside, but better, as we head to commercia. Coming back from commercial and Starks hits a dropkick off the middle rope to Swerve, then tags in Hobbs. Hobbs slowing the match down (WRESTLING!) and grounds Swerve. Swerve fights out of the corner and low bridges Hobbs, but Hobbs is back in to prevent the tag. Hobbs pops Swerve up, dropkick by Swerve! Lee is in! Lee beats on Starks in the corner, leap frogs Hobbs from behind, and then tosses Starks on to Hobbs! Starks gets pinballed between Swerve and Lee as he eats elbows from both sides. Swerve tosses Starks outisde and hits a pump kick. Swerve looks for the rolling thunder flat liner but Starks hits a spear in mid air! Starks with the charging flipping DDT! One, two, NO! Swerve barely gets out. Swerve it on top and tosses him off as Lee hits him with a POUNCEEEE in mid air! Hobbs is in to break up the pin as we have a huge faceoff between Lee and Hobbs! Taz is out as the arena ERUPTS in an ECW chant! Hobbs tosses Swerve off the top rope as Starks hits Lee with a hurricanrana! Starks up top and hits a diving spear off the second rope to Keith Lee! Swerve is up top and hits a frog splash to break up the count! Hobbs avalanches Swerve in the corner! Lee with a back elbow as he hits the ropes, Taz trips him up! Lee stumbles directly in to a spinebuster by Hobbs! One, two, three! Wow! What a match!
Winners: Team Taz (Powerhouse Hobbs & Ricky Stars)
Rating: ****
Thunder Rosa is in the back as Nyla and Vickie present her a cake for the world’s shortest title reign. Rosa shoves the cake in Rose’s face and they brawl in the back.
Match #7. Ring of Honor Television Title: Minoru Suzuki (c) vs. Samoa Joe
Imagine a year ago someone told you that Samoa Joe would be wrestling Minoru Suzuki for the Ring of Honor TV title on AEW Dynamite? Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt are at ringside. MURDER GRANDPA. THE KING. KAZE NI NARE. I’M SO EXCITED. Suzuki just defeated Rhett Titus at Supercard of Honor to win the title. Bobby Cruise on commentary. This feels right. Both men are just chopping the hell out of each other to start and that’s how this HAD to start. Suzuki is laughing! Suzuki eats a knife edge. Joe eats an overhand. Suzuki’s chest is hamburger. Joe’s chest is hamburger. We’re a minute into this match. Suzuki eats about five in a row and he’s HAPPY! Suzuki fires back! Joe fires back! Joe switches to forearms and Suzuki staggers. Now Suzuki throws his elbows. Joe’s collarbone area is purple. Suzuki hits the ropes and Joe hits a running shoulder block and the place absolutely erupts. Suzuki rolls to the apron and Joe follows, but Suzuki traps the arm and locks in an armbar over the top rope! He’s got til five, ref! Both men continue their exchange on the outside of the ring. The count is getting close to ten and we have a gentlemen’s agreement to roll inside together. Suzuki takes advantage of the situation and locks in a Fujiwara arm bar, with a wrist lock! Suzuki switches to a far arm bar with the other arm trapped! Joe is in trouble, but his foot BARELY reaches the rope. Joe fights out with some big headbutts! Powerbomb gets a two count! Joe holds the leg and locks in a single leg, no, STF! Joe’s got Suzuki locked in an STF in the center of the ring! Suzuki is fighting towards the ropes and he adjusts, almost into a Regal Stretch. Suzuki uses his hips and gets to the bottom rope. Irish whip by Suzuki followed by a big boot. Snapmare followed by a soccer kick to the chest. Suzuki looks for a Gotch style piledriver, stops, and screams “one more time!” Suzuki lets Joe go and they’re back to trading! Suzuki eventually ducks under and locks in the rear naked choke, but Joe back suplexes his way out of it. Joe hits the ropes but Suzuki follows with a big dropkick. Suzuki looking for the Gotch style again but he’s struggling to hook the hands. Joe backs Suzuki into the corner and he’s looking for the Muscle Buster! Suzuki tries to lock in the straight arm bar, but Joe fights through. Muscle Buster! One, two, three! Joe’s done it, he’s beat Minoru Suzuki!
Winner & New Ring of Honor TV Champion: Samoa Joe
Rating: ****
Lethal and Dutt are here and congratulate Joe on the title. They have a present for Joe! The lights go out, they come back on, and it’s Satnam Singh. Singh has apparently been working with Sonjay at the AEW training center. All three men beat down Samoa Joe as Lethal hits the Lethal Injection. Dutt drapes the title over Joe as we fade to black.
Credit: AllNightLongWP
